“The human mind is like a blank slate at birth.”
John Locke, one of the most important thinkers of the 17th century
Children are open to learning all kinds of behavior. Children adopt negative habits and behaviors more easily than adults. They do not realize the negative behaviors that they perceive as entertainment. Appropriate guidance is of great importance in the formation of our children’s behaviors. Children’s behavior; shaped by the reactions they get from their parents.
Established ways of eliminating negative behavior are standard. But every child and family is different, and behavior modification methods can vary from one child to the next. It is important to review the psychobiological conditions of children that must be met and to act accordingly. If these psychobiological needs are met, it may be helpful to plan for changing negative behavior. Many parents do not know how to act when faced with such a situation. They are unsure whether to eliminate unwanted behavior by ignoring or punishing it. What should we pay attention to in order to reduce or eliminate undesirable behaviors?
In order to change negative behaviors, the following steps should be taken into consideration.
1. Negative behavior should be defined. If you see your child’s negative behavior as an emotional or personality problem, you attribute some adjectives to him. For example; Adjectives such as “shy”, “depending on the mother” and “aggressive” may cause you to be perceived as a constant feature of the child and not make an effort to correct it. If you treat the problem as the behavior of the child, not as a personality trait, you will take a step towards changing that behavior.
2.Children often use crying and whining to get their parents to do something. However, parents should definitely not give up in the face of this situation. He should teach that he cannot achieve anything by crying. The child who makes him do what he wants by crying does not know that this is a negative behavior, on the contrary, he sees it as a method of doing what he wants. For this reason, the child should be taught that when he cries, not everything he wants will be fulfilled.
3. Parents should be patient. Do not get into arguments with your child and do not scold your child. Take a break from your communication. Talk about the negative behavior when your child calms down. Do not end the break just because it ends at the insistence of the child. If this happens, you will also reward and reinforce the child’s negative behaviors. Fulfilling every request immediately by saying that he is a child will cause serious problems for the child in the future. Therefore, parents should teach their children to wait.
4. Be consistent after the word “no”. If you resolutely say “No” and your child pauses in the negative behavior, immediately divert his attention elsewhere. You should not repeat the word “no” often, as hearing too many “no” words will cause your child to become desensitized. Also, you shouldn’t change your “No” to “Yes” just because your child is whining. ,
Our aim is for our children to be individuals who have self-control, who can make decisions on their own and who can bear the responsibilities of these decisions, and that they can express their feelings and thoughts. The recovery of undesirable behaviors depending on parental attitudes is possible with the joint determination and consistency of the parents. You should not forget that by acting consistently, calmly and decisively, you will reach your desired goal. The point to be considered here is whether these behaviors occur after a certain psychological event. In such cases, parents should seek help from a specialist. With the early diagnosis and treatment of emotional disorders detected by the specialist, both the child and their parents will be able to control the unwanted behaviors.