Couples experience enough stress until the first night when they say dowry preparations, engagement rush and wedding rush. On the wedding night, which has become a tradition, couples are stressed by hearsay information and unfounded situations. You should spend this day as calmly and stress-free as possible, which is called the first night or wedding night and causes you to get stressed with various false information. In order to take precautions against the stress and distress experienced on the wedding night, we received advice from Expert Psychologist Sexual Therapist Naciye Tokaç to correct the psychology experienced on the first night. Here are all you need to know about the wedding night…
The desire for sexual intercourse, which is the most basic instinct of man, is perhaps the most important element in the rapprochement of a woman and a man. While the two sexes love each other with a bond of love and affection, there is also an intense feeling of lust between them. This is the most precious, beautiful and nurturing feeling between two couples who love each other. Because if it is the love that provides the togetherness, the sexual desire they feel for each other also plays a big part in the continuation of it.
What should be done on the wedding night (first night)?
Every couple who loves each other wants to have a happy home, start a family and have children. Although couples who want to continue their happiness with marriage face various difficulties from the moment they step into marriage, the biggest one that affects both couples is the fear of the first night. The fear of the first night, the first togetherness. In fact, it may be thought why the first union should arouse fear between couples who love each other very much, but the first union is the product of unconscious anxiety, although it is not known what will happen.
Don’t listen to scary stories
During the preparation for sexual intercourse between the two couples, if negative thoughts about the emotional intimacy and then the union that will take place through sensual contact pass in the mind of the woman, such as that it will hurt a lot and she will bleed a lot, the anxiety of not being able to do it will increase and it will become impossible to be together. In men, the first night anxiety is mostly seen as inability to get an erection and losing an erection. The main reason for this situation is excitement. In fact, the first night can cause excitement and fear for both men and women.
Causes a man to be unable to get an erection
When we look at the factors that cause the first night fear, for women; not knowing what will happen, another reason is the scary stories about the painful first night heard from others, and the person’s knowledge about sexuality, emotional thoughts and perspective on the concept of virginity are important. For men; Achievement anxiety is the psychological pressure that the people around him, most of all, himself, about having the first relationship without any problems. This causes the man to sometimes not have an erection and sometimes to lose it quickly even if he has an erection.
The most important reason for the first night fear is ignorance.
If we talk about what can be done to prevent the fear of the first night: first of all, get real and accurate information about sexuality and sexual intercourse a while before being together. For this, you can read a book or go to a specialist to get information. Another issue is that you get rid of the information about the negative experiences that you heard from your environment, mostly wrong and caused by ignorance, consisting of personal experiences that the first union was difficult.
Sex is also personal. Everyone experiences this experience with their own wishes, desires and knowledge. It will not be the same experience you will have. If another reason is not knowing what will happen during sexual intercourse, that is, not knowing what the experience will be, it would be useful to read a book and, more importantly, to consult an expert on this subject and to get the right information.
The presence of a loving and patient wife will comfort the man in response to the erection problems that the man is experiencing, and it will be beneficial for the man to create the understanding of “it doesn’t have to be necessary, we can try it when I feel better” instead of worrying about not being able to do it and succeeding.
Here it is necessary for the woman to be patient with the man and to be understanding to experience at another time.
When the man and woman become a couple, they should be able to talk and share any subject easily, so this communication will work at the time of sexual intercourse. Sharing their feelings, thoughts and feelings with each other will comfort each other and increase their commitment to each other. It is also important that the first night is not necessarily the first night of the marriage, but that couples are together whenever they feel close to each other.
Sometimes it is observed that the individuals around the couples put pressure on the couples about the first union. Couples should completely separate themselves from the people around them and focus on living as they want, whenever they want, as this is their private life.
When every couple who loves each other can show their love and communicate based on mutual understanding, there will be no problem that they cannot overcome. If they cannot cope with their fears themselves, and if time passes, I recommend seeking professional support.
Sexual positions to avoid on the first night
If sexual intercourse is to be experienced for the first time on the wedding night (the first night), it is absolutely necessary to pay attention to sexual positions. Otherwise, since it will be the first intercourse for the woman, sexuality may not take place or it may cause more pain. For this reason, it is necessary to avoid some sexual positions on the first night (nuptial).
Leg shoulder position
The position of the leg on the shoulder can be challenging for the woman. Although this position is the position where sexual injuries are experienced the least, it is one of the positions that women do not like during and after the first sexual intercourse. The position where men achieve the most sexual pleasure is known as the leg-on-the-shoulder position. However, it is not recommended for the first night.
woman on top man below
In this position, it is one of the positions to be avoided in the first night (nuptial). This sexual position is the position with the highest number of injuries. We do not recommend this position, where most penile fractures are experienced, especially for those who will try it on the first night.
Sexual positions that are known to be safe
We have researched for you the positions that should be avoided on the first night (nuptial) night, as well as those that can be safe. In such cases, if the man has had sexual intercourse, the positions that should be under control should be tried. The positions that the experienced side will try will help to provide sexuality easily.
In this position, the control is completely male. For this reason, if the man is experienced and the woman has not had sexual intercourse before, such positions should be tried.
Again, in this position, as in the missionary, the control is on the man. It is known that joining in this position is more comfortable and easier.
In the spoon position, the couples are in harmony. Both men and women can have sexual intercourse in a controlled and comfortable way.