As parents, we have some duties to instill the good behaviors we want in our children. These tasks are shaped as situations that we will pay attention to and model and guide with the necessary information.
A- Positive Communication
It requires using the I language in our communication, paying attention to physical posture and eye contact. When we establish such a communication, the quality and sincerity of the relationship between us and our children will increase. In order not to put a distance between us and our children in communication;
– To criticize, to blame – To command
– Threatening – Giving advice
– Giving a moral lesson – Comparing
– To deflect – Name-calling, mocking
– Not making eye contact – Caring about other things
– We should avoid communication barriers such as consolation.
B- Giving Responsibility
By giving our children responsibilities from the first moment they start walking, we can increase their self-confidence and help them grow up healthier. Thus, we show them that we trust them and at the same time we make them happy and strong with the joy of success. If we find and support an area where they can be successful, especially for children who have difficulties in lessons, we will observe positive changes in their lessons after a certain period of time. The point we should pay particular attention to while giving responsibility is to give responsibility according to their level. Otherwise, instead of supporting self-confidence, we cause feelings of inadequacy to settle.
C- Being a Model
Our children think that their parents are perfect and very strong until a certain age. However, with the development of abstract intelligence, they become aware of our wrong actions and their love and respect for us begins to decrease. Therefore, if we do not want to erase the beautiful image that we have created in their minds, we should pay more attention to our behavior.
The child, whose positive aspects are appreciated, spends more effort to develop this aspect. The child, whose good aspects are not seen and appreciated, tries to attract people’s attention by doing negative things. At the same time, it starts to move away from us by being included in groups that recognize its negative behaviors. Some families do not want to see and say good things in order not to spoil their children or because they mostly focus on the shortcomings. However, if we do not want our children to focus on the negative and move away from us, we should be careful to appreciate it.
E- Expressing Your Love
In order for human beings to lead a healthy life, the need to love and be loved must be fully satisfied. Especially children want to feel this heard by their parents. Although the most valuable people in our lives are our families, we cannot show how much we love them due to life conditions, intensity or by using this as an excuse. However, when children feel loved, they feel safe. For this reason, we should show them how precious they are to us by paying attention to the love language of our children (whether tactful, waiting for service, wanting to hear whether they are loved with language or a gift).
F- Quality Time
By dedicating certain times of the day to our children, we have the opportunity to share their feelings and experiences. We can expand the areas of spending time together by doing sports, playing games, going shopping, reading books, and sometimes even doing household chores together. Thus, our children know that their families will listen to them and stand by them no matter what they experience, positive or negative, and the people they will seek first aid with will be their families.