Parents who act as if

Every mother loves her child very much and when we talk to many mothers, she uses the phrase “If I were born again, I would be a mother again” many times. As parents, when we have children, we bring some difficulties with it. The important thing is to answer the question of how much and how much time we can spare for ourselves, our family and our children during this difficult process.

There is a very important thing that all parents and educators know that the emotional sharing between the parents and the child occupies a very important place in the life of the individual. In order for children to reach a socially sufficient level, families should be sensitive and attentive to their children’s feelings. The children of families who can establish mutual and warm communication with their children at home are those who can help without expecting anything in return and have strong concentration abilities.

What does “like” families mean?

Not aware of the intention behind their thoughts; means the life of people whose words, eyes and behaviors do not match.

Remember! The strength of the communication to be established between parents and children depends on whether families can spare enough and quality time for their children. I wanted to write this article in order to clarify exactly what the concept of “Spending Quality Time”, which has become a very important issue in raising children today, means.

What is wanted to be emphasized with the concept of spending quality time is not “just” the time you set aside for your child. The fact that parents are somewhere around their children while fulfilling their other responsibilities at home does not mean that they spend quality time with them. For example, we sit with our child and watch a television program that we like. Our child is on our head, we touch him, we talk, everything looks beautiful when we look at such a picture; however, there is neither eye contact nor sincere conversation there. We think that we are spending time with our child to the fullest, but there is no sharing in the environment. Of course, we can also watch television during the time we spend with our child, which we can call quality; however, we can call this time a quality time if it is about the child and sharing feelings and thoughts about what is being watched.

As a result of today’s sociocultural and economic needs, both parents have to work while their child is in kindergarten. As a result, families, especially working mothers, can devote less time to their children than they need.

Especially in such cases, parents may pay for the time they cannot spend with their children with expensive toys/gifts or ostentatious trips where social sharing is very limited. This is a financial sacrifice given to the child. However, making the time spent with the child meaningful, even if it is short, is the most valuable gift to be given to him.

So how do we create quality time to spend with our children?

When structuring quality time, you should not forget that the main purpose is to understand the child, to make him feel that you care about him, to share his feelings.

What you will do while doing this depends on your social and cultural structures, the economic situation of your family and a little bit on your creativity skills.

Every child’s social and emotional needs are different. In order to spend quality time, parents should first discover what their children get high satisfaction from doing. This is a good time not only for your children, but also for you parents. In fact, it is also a necessary need for parents to become children sometimes, to be pampered and to discover their fun side with their children.

To give a few examples of advice on what you can do in the time periods where you can configure the general framework with these elements;

  • You can share with your child how your day went by mutually explaining.
  • With it, you can do educational but not very academic activities such as painting, solving puzzles, playing mind games.
  • Sad events as well as good events are a part of our lives. You can play board games with your child to help them manage their emotions when you feel sad and to stay in the moment for a while. We can identify the situations that your child lives with and are sad, write and draw their negative feelings on papers and put them in a closed box or chest.
  • Children are active. You can set aside special times to drain the energies of children. By creating characters such as “Energy Monster”, you can grapple with your child in half an hour and do various energetic activities. They will enjoy these activities.
  • You can make theater-like animations and shares about the situation we call role-playing studies at home.
  • You can play exercises and games for managing, expressing and accepting emotions.
  • You can do success-oriented activities that will create awareness, such as what we did better on a weekly basis, what we were more successful in, at the times you set as partners.
  • You can read the publications-books that you follow and comment on together.
  • Together, you can watch programs and movies that are suitable for the age of your child that you have previously determined or chosen.
  • You can do physical activities outside the house together.
  • You can work collaboratively in the areas that he/she has developed or wants to present his/her skills.

You can do this and many other activities with your child, and you can easily make him feel how valuable he is to you.

As we mentioned before, the sharing planned and made according to the opportunities of the families, their creativity and the activities that their children enjoy, will increase the feeling of being loved and valuable in your children, and will enable your children to be social, harmonious and self-confident individuals in the future.

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