Parents stuck with sibling jealousy

First of all, the point that should be known is that jealousy and rivalry between siblings is a natural situation. “Jealousy” is a very natural and basic emotion. It should not be forgotten that he brought anger with him as a friend. Dealing with this emotion can sometimes be very challenging for children. Instead of trying to eliminate sibling jealousy, parents should accept this feeling and see it as part of the developmental process. Let’s say we saw it naturally. So how do I deal with this? What should I do when my children are constantly hurting each other? I am pregnant, my child is already getting jealous, what can I do?, How should I treat my child after his sibling comes home? If you say that questions like these keep your mind busy, let’s make you aware of how to deal with it gradually.

one- I am pregnant, how will I explain to my child the “sibling is coming” situation?

The point to be considered when considering a new baby should not be to act with the thought that my child will not grow up alone. Instead, it should be acted with the thought of “we are ready to be parents again”. If the physical and emotional needs of the newborn baby can be “sufficiently” satisfied, why not? Before the sibling, remember that meeting your child’s need for adequate love and attention will minimize the jealousy crisis. Considering the age group, questions about the sibling must be answered. Dolls and educational books can be used. The items in his room or the clothes he will wear can be selected together. The situation of “a brother is coming” should not be experienced by giving exaggerated reactions. Otherwise, this will cause your child to perceive “the arrival of a new baby” as a threat. Instead, ask how it made him feel. Let him express his feelings and communicate. Express clearly that you feel the same feelings during your child’s pregnancy. Re-enactments and games can be played at home for the birth process. This way, your child will be better prepared for the process. When the new baby comes home, let your child touch, hug, kiss him. This will strengthen the bond between the two. Be on the lookout for harm, but don’t let your child feel it. Strengthen confidence.

2 . A NEW BABY WAS BORN, WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

Do not compare your children with each other. This is one of the biggest mistakes made. In order that the older child would not be jealous, “for the little child, he is always crying, look, you are good”, “he is better than you, he listens to me, you do not listen! Sentences such as ” should be avoided. It should not be forgotten that the older child’s need for attention and love should be satisfied as much as his siblings. You can tell with concrete games that his love is not divided and that you love both equally. You should ask your child for help with matters related to his sibling. Giving him responsibilities will strengthen the bond. For example; “Come on, how about changing clothes together?, Do you want to choose the clothes to wear?” . Avoid jokes about jealousy. Some parents may show excessive interest in my child because we can’t take care of him at all. This is also wrong. Under the guilt psychology, do not indulge your child with exaggerated attention. It’s a process and you’ll get used to it. You are not guilty of giving birth to a child. Spend special time as parents with your children every day. While the father takes care of one child, the mother should take care of the other child. Enjoy doing things together and give your child time to adapt. The newborn baby started to grow. And we came to a dead end… “sibling quarrels” where parents live in a dead end.

3-“ THEY FIGHT A LOT” WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Calm down. Jealousy was normal, yes. However, during the fights, some roles fall on the parents. Disagreements may increase as your children begin to grow up. You can stop them when they try to hit, bite, or hurt each other. When you see your children fighting, calmly separate them. Get their attention. Say to your children who are fighting in front of the red car, “I see two kids battering each other for the red car right now.” interrupt by saying. If they are not listening, you will have to pull the toy from them. The next step is to ask questions for them to find solutions. Help your kids find solutions. If they are younger, offer options. Give your children the chance to choose from among the options you choose. “I understand what you’re going through, waiting to take turns can be difficult. But if we want to play, we have to wait in turn. Being understanding and speaking in a calm tone will always work. Although it is difficult to establish the balance, you can overcome this process with love. Be consistent in your decisions. Do not punish them for hurting each other. This increases the competition between them. Prefer to talk after his anger has passed. Teach him what to do when angry. For example; When he gets angry, you can ask him to move to another room, you can offer him things to distract him. You can draw a picture of his anger. Or, a toy may reflect his anger on a plush. But make it clear to your child that you will not let him hurt, hurt or hit others when he is angry. In cases of sibling jealousy, thumb sucking, bed wetting, tantrums, not wanting to sleep alone, a specialist should be consulted.

I hope your advice will touch your life.

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