Parental Attitudes Causing Emotional Neglect

This expression; It can bring to mind families in which the basic needs of children such as nutrition, health, clothing, shelter and love are neglected and a climate of violence and fear is dominant. However, sometimes emotional neglect can be seen in families that have parents who truly love their children, who are envied from the outside, and seem ideal.

If the child’s emotional needs are treated as trivial by their parents, they will also deny their emotional selves in order to fit in with their family. There is no doubt that even as adults, these children will feel an emptiness inside about loving themselves and emotionally connecting with others. (Jonice Webb, Christine Musello. “The Trace of Childhood Neglect. A Feeling of Emptiness”)

For example; Let’s imagine a workaholic parent working with all their might to offer their children opportunities that they could not obtain. They work day and night, and they can go on business trips even on weekends or public holidays. With the high income they earn, there are no opportunities that they cannot offer their children. They teach in the best, most expensive schools in the country. They go on expensive vacations. Children are always wearing private label products. They eat quality food, but they do not see the face of their parents.

There are also parents who constantly flatter their children. Their daughter is the princess, their son is the pasha. Their children are the most beautiful. The most handsome. The most successful. Best. The smartest. The world revolves around these children. Neighbors, cousins, friends, all the other kids in your class; zero on the left next to theirs. So, how do these great kids feel when they grow up and mingle with the real world, when they meet other eennns? When the expectations of being at the forefront are not met, or even though they are at the forefront, the most handsome, the most beautiful; For example, how do they feel when the person they love prefers a mediocre person who is not the “most”? How does this desire to be at the forefront tire them? How do they feel in areas where others are better? What kind of devastation do they experience when someone surpasses them in what they are best at (which they certainly will)?

Another example of us is perfectionist parents. They are success oriented. They strive for their children to seize opportunities and dreams that they cannot reach. They are often dissatisfied with their success and want more. For example, “Why didn’t you get 100?” they ask. Perfectionist parents can have a positive impact on their child’s development as long as they are supportive. The families of many Olympic champions or internationally renowned artists are perfectionists. But there’s a big difference between supporting a child to achieve what he wants and putting pressure on his parents to do what he wants. Perfectionist parents can waste a child’s day for their own planned future. He may not realize the emotional needs of his age. No matter how high such children achieve in their adulthood, they can never feel enough. There is always a higher rung for them to climb. (Web and Musello, 2014 pp. 87-90)

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