According to a study conducted with EMDR therapy, of which I am also a practitioner, the result when EMDR is compared with another type of therapy is remarkable. Namely, it has been observed that positive memories that come with a sense of relaxation about loved ones result in much more recall of EMDR applied people (Francine Shapiro). There are people who get stuck. Because these people are afraid that by letting their pain disappear, they will lose their respect for their loved ones or they will lose their ties. However, our research and clinical experience show that this is not true. On the contrary, when the person digests his pain, his feelings (love, respect, emotional bond) will continue to exist. The positive/good memories about him will continue to be remembered more.
Therefore, keeping the pain in the present, in the present, experiencing it does not contribute to the person. It will not contribute to the person you love, on the contrary, the person you love would not want you to continue in this way. Because the cost of keeping the pain inside will be high in terms of your mental and physical health.
We can say that a similar situation applies to the feeling of “anger”. We may be angry with someone after an event in the past and we may be keeping it inside us ever since. Let’s think about it!
How does holding this feeling contribute to us? Let us help you think with some questions.
When I think of that event or person;
1. How do I feel? Relaxed or tense?
2. Do these feelings have a positive effect on my body or physical health?
3. Does it have a positive effect on my mental health?
The questions can be multiplied, we will be content with them and you think about the answers. In addition, I can say that the answers I received when I asked these questions to my clients in my sessions were not encouraging at all. Because it is obvious that experiencing anger for a long time is not good for our psychology. As a result, we know that some hormones secreted in our body affect our body health negatively. Let’s give a small example so that you can visualize these harms in your mind. If you want, get up and try it now if possible (it will be more effective if you can) or imagine it. Take half (0.5) Lt of water in both hands and lift them with your arms forward. How many minutes can you stand like this? What happens after it sits like this for a while? What’s happening to your arms? Are you forced? Realize the effects of this experience with questions etc. How long can you continue to hold anger despite these harms? Moreover, while you are going through all this, is that person aware of this situation? Or is there any harm in keeping your anger alive? I think you know the answer to these questions very well.
As a result, holding these feelings not only does not contribute to mental and physical health, but also has a disruptive effect on our relationships. It causes our communication in family and business life to be negative. Despite all this, will you continue to hold them?
In our sessions, we process your feelings of pain and anger with Emdr Therapy. Both anger and pain are experienced in the session room, so there is no need to experience another environment.