Our reflections… Our illusions…

Our repetition of the past in the present is as similar as these two words.

In the first months of the baby’s birth, the face of the people with whom he interacts, other parts of his body and the objects around him cannot be perceived as a whole. Objects and emotions experienced with objects are recorded as fragments in the infant’s brain.
While the interaction with the object is recorded in the brain, it is recorded along with other stimuli around it. The heat, light, color, smell, sound existing around that moment are all taken in simultaneously as an experience. If these experiences make you feel pleasant, they are accumulated in the “Libidinal pole” simultaneously with the other stimuli around them, and if they make you feel bad emotions, they are accumulated in the “Aggressive pole” together with all the stimuli around them.
Up to the age of 3, positive and negative experiences are kept separate from each other by the “splitting” defense mechanism. In children who grew up in a healthy family environment, the division disappears after the age of 3, and the libidinal and aggressive poles become integrated.
Having more experiences at the libidinal pole will then correspond to a stronger ego structuring of the person. Having more experiences in the aggressive pole will then correspond to a personality with a weak ego.
Every experience recorded in the brain has a self pole and an object pole. The emotional bond connects these two poles.
If pleasant feelings are experienced with an object; when that object is seen again, it evokes pleasant feelings. Not only object similarity, but also other simultaneous coded stimuli independent of the object cause the same pleasant feelings when seen again.
If the moment experienced with the object makes you feel negative emotions, all other stimuli that exist simultaneously at that time include the paint of the room, the smell that exists at that moment, the color of the wall, the music in the background, the physical characteristics of the interacting person, hair beard, eye color, dimensions, etc. Aggressive unit also gathers along with the sense of all simultaneous.
These are saved in the brain like a zip file.
If any stimulus such as heat, light, color, smell, person, person’s voice, hair, beard, mustache in the environment you enter is similar to those in your past recordings, the emotion in those recordings is revealed. The emotion you feel at that moment is actually the emotion of your past life. It was revealed only because of the similarity of physical conditions.
In your life, you are drawn to certain colors, certain sounds, certain smells, certain tastes, certain people for some unknown reason. In some environments, you want to stay for a long time because of the peace you feel. You feel an intimacy with some people that we cannot name. Sometimes this feeling is so intense that it can be described as “LOVE”. You can even say, “We just met eye to eye, I felt a great feeling, after that day I can’t forget it”.
Whereas, what is revealed with that person is the feeling of the person coded in the past. This feeling is your childhood caregiver; is the encoded emotion that your mother, father, caregiver, or significant other in your life makes you feel. Now you try to make sense of this feeling, which is revealed by the similarity that you are not aware of.
You don’t like some of them for a reason you don’t know why, and you want to get away from that environment quickly. You can’t stay with some people for long. In some environments, you feel suffocated. You have a hard time making sense of it. You say, “There is nothing he did to me, but for some reason I couldn’t love him.”
Because these feelings are mostly related to your experiences in the 0-6 age range that you cannot remember. The brain remembers when it sees a stimulus that is associated with a previous experience. The emotion encoded with this emerges at that time and is felt by the person. However, an image or memory of it is often not remembered because it belongs to a very young age. For this reason, the emotion felt cannot be explained.
In your records, you also have bodily symptoms that are felt at the moment, such as the emotions felt during the experience and the environmental stimuli that are present at the moment. If your childhood experience excited or frightened you at the time and made your heart beat faster, your brain starts to increase in your synchronous heartbeat when it catches any stimulus that reminds you of that moment.
For the same reason, when you enter certain environments, you feel some changes in your body. For example, your heartbeat speeds up, your cold sweats begin, or body symptoms such as numbness, nausea, pain, itching, and a drop or increase in your blood pressure appear in any part of your body. You can’t make sense of it either. This time, what emerges now are the body reactions that occurred in your body during the previous experience and were coded together with the current stimuli.
All of a sudden your heart starts beating fast, but you can’t find a reason for it. However, your brain must have found an acquaintance at that time, reminding you of the past. Most of the time, you are not even aware of the environment in which these symptoms occur. Because while it is the smell that reminds of this in one environment, it is the similarity of color that reminds it in another environment. Therefore, when you think about what triggered your complaint, you have a hard time finding a common point.
Most of the time, you perceive these complaints as a sign of illness. Most of the time, these complaints are examined and no underlying disease can be found, and again, most of the time, at the end of this process, you have to say that my complaints are psychological.
This process often ends with drugs that either slow your heartbeat or are mentally calming. Then you say “I am comfortable using the drugs, when I start to reduce the drugs, my complaints start again”. You start to worry about whether it’s addictive. Whereas, what the drugs you use do most of the time is to be an insulating material between your consciousness and your feelings of origin from this past.
When the isolation is removed, those unpleasant feelings reappear with the bodily signs in which they were encoded. Thus, your life continues in a vicious circle.
Excitement, panic, the feeling of distress, the anxiety that something bad will happen at any moment, and this is why we “look for the past” at the root of many unpleasant emotions. It is possible for these feelings to disappear when we can reach the source of the emotion you are complaining about, namely your first childhood experiences.
Your mind is the treasure chest you filled in on a journey many years ago…
Now, we must look for your chests where you sank your ship…
We must remove what you have imprisoned… We must use it as a light on your path, to illuminate your troubles today…
We are reflections of the past… trying to live with our illusions…
It is luminous, what must be sought and found under still waters…


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