Our “Orphan and Orphan” Children in Our Society

OUR CHILDREN WITH “ORphans and Orphans” in our society
“Feed the Poor, Stroke the Head of the Orphan, If You Want Your Heart to Soften.” (Ibn Hanbal)
Society does not always consist of the same individuals. We have old people in this society. We have women. We have patients and children. Most importantly, we have orphans and orphans. When we look at it from this perspective, it turns out that one part is strong and the other part is in need of help and attention. If we want to have a solid social structure by acting from this fact, if we want to be a virtuous society, we need to protect this weak group.
It should be at the top of the humanitarian duty to mobilize for orphans (his mother is dead), orphaned (his father is dead) and victims of various reasons, known as the heartburn of our society, which is deprived of the love of mother and father, one of the greatest loves in the world.
We can deal with our responsibilities towards orphans and orphans in two parts as material and spiritual: Our material responsibilities are to protect the property and life of orphans and orphans; Our spiritual responsibilities include every action that concerns the psychological development of orphans and orphans. To display compassionate behaviors, to prepare a loving environment, to take care of education, to give religious knowledge, to gain a good morals, etc. can be expressed as
The pioneer of orphans and orphans was our beloved Prophet. At an early age, she had to grow up apart from both her father and mother. Throughout his life, our Prophet tried to take care of orphans and to be with them all the time. Continuing his sunnah today is above everything else.
The death of loved ones is the most difficult and stressful experience in human life. For a child grieving over the loss of a parent, the experience can be even more difficult. Differences in developmental stages include differences in children’s conceptual understanding of the meaning of death.
The appearance and consequences of mourning in children depend on witnessing death and the development of concepts related to death. The behavior of an orphaned child varies depending on the gender of the deceased parent, whether the other parent remarries, and the presence of other siblings. The age at which the child is orphaned or orphan causes differences in reactions. Considering the reactions by age range: Babies younger than two do not understand any concept of death. For young children, death is as simple as the absence of someone present in everyday life. Two- and two-and-a-half-year-olds have very ambiguous ideas about death. Before the age of 7, the result is not very heavy. The child is small and can accept a replacement for the parent. Between the ages of 7 and 10, it is more difficult to accept the loss. The child’s unhappiness is clearly visible. He wants to oppose the event. As a result of this, symptoms of escaping from reality and taking refuge in dreams may occur. After the age of 10, the reactions are similar to those of adults.

Losing the object of love, which has an important place in the child’s life, brings along emotional problems. Complicating this situation even more is the inability to understand the nature of death due to the child’s immaturity of abstraction ability. For this reason, care should be taken not to create false impressions when explaining to the child. Explanations that the dead do not perish but go to another world may give the child the belief that his parent will return. Statements that everyone will die and that this may be caused by various factors (illness, accident, etc.) may cause fear of death in the child.
In children whose parents have died, the problem is twofold: mental and emotional. The emotional reactions of the child differ depending on the level of development, the relationship with the deceased parent, the circumstances of the death and the reaction of the family. Behavior and adaptation problems such as excessive crying, looking sad and unhappy, exuberance, regression behaviors, overeating, and stool incontinence may occur.
Two reactions are seen in children in the face of death: the idea of ​​abandonment and the feeling of guilt.
The thought of being abandoned creates feelings of disharmony, loneliness, and emptiness in the child. The child begins to question whether he and other family members will die. The feeling of guilt is more hidden or very forcefully expressed. The child is constantly worried that he will be punished. This may be accompanied by night terrors and nightmares.
The biggest threat to the losses in the preschool period; It is the intense anxiety that the child experiences about being left, abandoned and unloved. The feelings of abandonment and longing experienced in loss are natural parts of this process, and those who take care of the child should do their best in this process without hurting them.
Depending on the gender of the deceased parent, the child’s reactions may vary. In cases where the same-sex parent dies, the feeling of guilt is more pronounced, and depressive symptoms or defensive behavior disorders are common. Sexual identification problems may arise. If the deceased is the opposite-sex parent, there is a constant dream of the deceased. If the parent is vilified by the environment, the child becomes angry.
Parental remarriage is a major problem. It is very difficult for daughters to not accept the stepmother, accept her father’s love, and tolerate her taking the mother’s place. The stepfather is more easily accepted because he tries to fix the situation with his mother’s love. However, the objections of boys
Those who do not live in compassionate environments away from the warmth of the family environment feel lonely and their feelings of hope cannot develop. The individual needs to feel safe for the production of growth-related hormones and enzymes.
The brains of people who do not feel secure reduce their ability to use their defense mechanisms while producing hormones and enzymes that cause stress. If this situation lasts for a long time, the production of growth hormone is suppressed and the development of children slows down. Sudden deaths can occur.
The increase in childhood depressions and the lack of compassion that causes sudden death should enable us to understand the mental state of the orphan. A loving glance, smile, a few nice words and patting the head of the orphans; They are behaviors that are vitally important as an expression of love. At the same time, displaying compassionate behavior makes the person feel good, and the hormones and enzymes related to happiness are secreted in the person who does good. We can even say that giving compassion to an orphan, which has a double benefit, is a meditative act.
Shout out to our orphans and orphans. You never get upset. Because this society, we are your mother, your father. The civilization and religion that we belong to include many orders regarding orphans, and when you look at our holy book, we are dealing with orders for the protection and care of orphans and orphans in many parts. As members of the society, we have to obey these orders. We have a duty to protect our orphans and orphans. Keep your mind at ease…
We wish you joyful, happy and peaceful moments with your family in your loving home…

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