I asked you on my Instagram account “What is the best thing that can happen to a child?” Your answers; A family full of love, respect, communication by looking in the eye, parents with a strong psychology, giving unconditional love, a loving home, a good and benevolent parent, a healthy and conscious parent… I got a list that goes on and on. I would like to state that although I agree with most of you, I do not agree with most of you. I think the best and luckiest thing that can happen to a child is to have a conscious parent. The most unfortunate event that can happen to a child is to have an unconscious parent. So what is this thing we call a conscious parent?
Conscious parenting does not mean a parent who is amazing, super, wonderful and does everything right, always makes their child happy or offers a happy home. Being a good enough parent will be enough for your child. How do we become good enough parents?
Contrary to popular belief, children are not beings that dissolve like sugar thrown into water with a single wrong move. Do everything right. When you do something wrong, all emotional worlds are not affected, they can handle some things within themselves. Doing everything right does not make you a conscious parent. On the contrary, this is an unconscious parental behavior. Being a conscious parent means a parent who cares about his own needs, limits and process as much as the child’s needs. It is not a mistake to lament your child while you are patient with her crying all night long. The conscious parent is the one who is conscious and aware that he is human. He is the one who does not spare himself the compassion, love and mercy he shows to his child. In other words, you don’t need to read libraries, attend countless seminars, or brush your hair to be a conscious parent.
Let’s explain this with a metaphor so that it can be understood more easily; Now imagine an empty jug in one hand and an empty glass in the other. Can we fill the glass when there is no water in the jug? Or, when the glass is full and the pitcher is empty, is the water in the glass enough to fill the pitcher? Of course, we cannot fill it or raise the water in the glass to the jug. Our pitcher must be full in order to fill the glass. The pitcher used in this metaphor is you and your glass child. You parents cannot give your child the love, patience and compassion that you do not give yourself. You can claim to have given it, but that remains just a claim.
So how do we fill our own pitcher?
-Being a parent after going through our own therapy process or making room for this process in our parenting adventure.
– By acting with the thought of snow wherever we turn on the road without thinking that everything is over.
– By getting to know your child and determining their needs and acting accordingly.
“How can we realize these items?” If you’re asking a question, I can answer that too. You can apply to a family counseling service to realize these items. If there are clogged areas in the family, your counselor will teach you how to solve them and provide correct directions for this.
As a family counselor who is advancing in line with his ideals, I would like to accompany your family in this process. You can visit my profile for appointment and information..