Oh These Kids…

Some of us desire for children goes back to ancient times. Even when we were children, we dreamed of our future child, we used to dream that I would treat him like this, I wouldn’t do that, and he would be like that. These dreams were about the effort of our child to “not be like us” by acting the exact opposite of what we were treated.

Some of us never had a desire for a child. Either we didn’t feel ready, or we thought, “Have I become a child and I’m going to look after a child”. One way or another, a small nucleus was thrown into our womb the day before. The seed has grown and sprouted, has reached a palpable position. The emotions were mixed, the hormones changed, the body began to swell, the pains increased. One day, he was unable to fit anymore and threw himself outside. The woman asked herself, how did I carry such a soul inside my body? Then the long shifts started, the endless crying spells, the sleepless nights, the rapid dissipation of every load with a tiny warmth…

The doll became the center of the house, a little one made everyone experience intense emotional transitions. Despair, pessimism, burnout, restlessness, happiness, inadequacy, overgrowth, etc. lots of feelings. Everyone has experienced these feelings differently, everyone has embraced them differently. So, how could these complex emotions we experience change like this, despite the fact that the body and nature always change in the same order?

The answer is very simple. Our own childhood. We approached the little one, who was looking at us helplessly in front of us, in line with these experiences, how we experienced and coped with what emotion in our own childhood, what emotion we were condemned, what emotion we were punished for. When our baby cried, some of us got angry, some of us felt helpless, some of us wanted to punish him. All these things we felt and did were in line with what we put in our hearts from the past.

And as if these weren’t enough, experts came out and made statements such as treat your child like this, don’t do this, don’t do that, no you are doing it wrong, no you are doing it wrong, etc. Parenting has no school, no one on earth knows how to be right parenting. Parenting is driven by our own experiences and what has been done to us. The only thing that will guide parents is for them to heal their own wounds. To the innocent parents..

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