Contact refers to situations in which we recognize someone’s presence. When we touch, when we say “Good morning”, when we hit someone!, when we say “I hate you”, when we talk, we touch. As you will notice, I did not distinguish between positive and negative because CONTACT IS CONTACT. Any contact has a more biological advantage over no contact. Researcher S. Levine, in his study with rats, found that rats that were stroked and rats that received electric shocks developed physically and emotionally, and that their brain chemicals differed from rats that received no intervention. In other words, whether we are stroked or beaten, our brain chemistry, physical and emotional development is the same, we develop because CONTACT IS CONTACT. IT’S BETTER THAN NO CONTACT. In studies conducted with babies in orphanages, babies who were deprived of contact showed delayed growth, caught diseases more easily, and died earlier.
All of this is actually the reason why you feel that you can’t break away from a relationship, family, friends no matter how much it hurts, because CONTACT is CONTACT. I remember a client of mine who once said that he liked to be beaten by his father. Because the only point he got in touch with, where he felt his presence, was when he was beaten. That’s why he became a naughty boy. In short, your brain is dependent on keeping you in constant contact. Contact is vital, indispensable. You have a choice about what and how the contact will be. But you would think that without these contacts, there will be no more contacts with you… That’s all I’m going to tell you. You will have to question the rest.