My Partner Refuses to Come to Couples Therapy

Couple and Family Therapy is a therapy model that aims to address and solve the problems faced by married or unmarried couples. In this therapy, the couple can generally attend the session together. Sometimes, couple and family therapy can be applied to a single person based on their relationship. The aim here is to help the person see his place in the relationship system and better understand his partner. At the same time, he realizes the feelings that he transfers to the relationship, but that are not related to the relationship.

In calls to make an appointment for couple therapy, people often say that they stopped coming because they could not convince their partner. In such cases, when they receive information that they can continue the counseling process about their relationship, some individuals accept this, while some individuals continue to think that it will be impossible to solve their problems without the participation of their partner.

In fact, you can think of emotional relationships as a dance. When one of the couples changes their steps, the other begins to act in harmony with it. Of course, emotional intimacy and attachment are also very important here.

Sometimes the process may change later. Many of my clients decided to come to the session alone because they did not accept their partner. After a certain amount of time, his partner offered to come to the session with him. In some cases, they continue as a couple, and in some cases, it is more appropriate for the two to come separately. This completely takes shape according to the dynamics of the relationship and the people.

Why do more women seek counseling?

Although these rates vary compared to previous years, we can still say that women are more insistent on couple therapy. However, this situation varies according to the society and socio-economic infrastructure.

Here, it is necessary to deal with the issue not as a woman or a man, but as the person experiencing the discomfort.

The person who has more problems in the relationship, the person who has more emotional difficulties in the face of problems, and the person who has less space in some way seeks support. Of course, the fact that the person is experiencing problems more intensely does not mean that his partner is a ‘problematic’, ‘sick’ or ‘problematic person’. This situation may be related to communication problems and personality structures.

It can be seen that in societies where the traditional structure is established, women have difficulty in expressing their problems and cannot develop sufficient skills in this regard with the social infrastructure, so it can be seen that they have difficulties in solving their problems. This opens the door for women to seek counseling for support.

Is it necessary to seek counseling only when there is a problem?

In order to increase the quality of the relationship and to have a more emotionally satisfying relationship, couples can receive counseling support together. Although this rate is not very high in Turkey yet, positive developments are observed in the new generation’s perspective on the concepts of couples therapy and psychological counseling. Before marriage and when deciding to have a child, couples may also want to receive counseling to prepare themselves for possible problems.

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