My Child Listens to His Teachers at School, Not at Home

This is one of the phrases I often hear from parents, ‘he obeys the rules at school, he becomes a different person when he comes home’.

The reasons for this;

The boundaries at home are more flexible than the boundaries at school.

Inconsistency of parents

The child does not know the real no, the parents often use no

Lack of positive communication between parents and children

examples such as.

A few small tips for Right Communication;

First of all, you should accept that your children are also individuals and communicate with them. (Regardless of age, if you explain the reasons for your requests from your child and if this is accepted by your child, he will perform that behavior.) Again, consider yourself as an individual, would you exhibit a behavior that does not make sense to you? Also remember that; Your kids don’t have to do whatever you want. You can find common solutions by talking to him about why he didn’t.

Ask your child for your expectations, taking into account his development. For example; It would not be reasonable to ask the child who has not collected his toys before to collect them. You can make them learn easily by dividing such tasks into simpler parts or by making them gamified.

After performing these tasks; Definitely appreciate.

Focus on your successes rather than pointing out your shortcomings in the task. For example; Instead of saying, ‘Two of your toys are still on the floor, you can say to the child who has collected all his toys and left one or two toys on the floor, you have collected most of his toys, you did a great job.’

If you want him to listen to you, first listen to your child. If you want him to know his limits and obey the rules, you must first obey his limits. Give him areas where he is free. For example; again, let him be free to play in his own room as he likes in collecting toys and express that you respect this. ‘This is your room and you can play as you wish, I respect you’ But the living room is a common area like when you play there you have to collect your toys’.

Be consistent. Think twice before saying no, then don’t say no to something you say yes so that the child knows the real no and its limits. Let your father say yes to what your mother says yes, and let your mother say no to what your father says no. If there is inconsistency, the child listens to the side that says yes, not the side that says no.

In some cases, what you say yes to may turn out to be no. For example; While you may allow them to eat in your own home, you may not give them as guests. Be sure to explain this distinction to the child here. Let him know why while yes at home, no at guests.

It is very important for the child to know the true no, true charity must be supported by the body, gestures, facial expressions and tone of voice. Here it is not necessary to be tough, but to appear determined. And certainly the reasons for the good; should be explained to the child. Remember, you are not trying to dominate the child, you are teaching your family boundaries as a partner.

Do not compare your child with other children. Every child is different and special, and so is every family. Every family has its own rules and boundaries. Compare your child alone with himself and focus on his development.

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