Marriage Is Being “We” Protecting You and Me

The time that the spouses spare for each other in the marriage relationship and the friendship relationship between them are one of the important factors that affect their happiness, which will continue for many years. Marriages of couples who can become ‘us’ by making time for both their relationships and themselves, that is, by making the distinction between you and me, are more solid and satisfying.


With the intensity of business life and the responsibilities that come with marriage, the time that many married couples spare for each other decreases day by day. However, marriage is like growing flowers. Does not devote enough time to your flower; If you don’t give it the care and attention it needs, it will dry up and eventually die. It is like a flower in marriage; It requires attention, care, effort, renewal, sensitivity and time.


Spending time for each other, which is an important factor for couples to want to strengthen their marriage, should be careful about spending quality time with each other. Couples who spend quality time with each other experience less conflict in their relationships and stronger bonds of love between them. The point that should be emphasized in terms of spending time together is the extent to which the spouses spend their free time together and the quality of the friendship relationship expected between them. It is not possible to spend quality time with the couples being in the same environment. In this article, I will talk about spending quality time in marriage.

What Do Spouses Gain By Spending Time For Each Other?

As well as the friendship and spending time between spouses, the time they spend privately for each other is important in terms of interaction between them.

• Spouses experience less marital conflict.

• Couples who spend quality time together are less stressed.

• Spouses feel more closeness to each other. Chatting and having a good rest makes couples feel good.

• Spouses trust each other more.

• Each of the spouses feels happier individually.

• Marriage is felt to be stronger and more durable.

• As the shares increase, the marital relationship ceases to be a distinction between me and you and turns into a feeling of being “us”.

• It ensures that the spouses have a common meeting point rather than a power struggle.

• The care and attention that spouses show to each other keeps marital relations alive.

There Is No “We” Without You and Me

As important as it is to learn to act together in a sense of meeting at a common point, it is extremely important for the relationship that the spouses can act individually while preserving their autonomy. From time to time both spouses need to be alone or spend time with their own friends. Couples naturally get to know each other’s friends and associates over time. However, you should also give your spouse time to spend alone with their friends, even if they are people you know. Couples need to have fun or talk with their friends once in a while. These private areas will reflect positively on your relationship and will add color to your individual socialization relationship. In a healthy relationship, couples feel connected to each other; but this commitment is not an obsessive feeling. For this reason, private areas are important for the positive development of you and your relationship. Because in order to be us in your relationship, you must first be a healthy self. In healthy relationships, couples support each other’s personal dreams and efforts, as well as having a purpose to spend their lives together. They motivate and support each other in this direction.

To spend quality time;

The biggest obstacle for spouses to spend quality time together is the time problem. But even the busiest couples will be able to find some time together when you’re really willing and committed to it. For this, you can start by thinking about what you spend time on during the day. List your daily routine. Decide which are important and which are dispensable. Set aside at least one hour each week for any one-on-one activity with your partner. Decide the day and time together with your partner in advance. Yes, just because you’re married, you shouldn’t think that dating is no longer a date. Take care to stay together and spend these hours alone by adhering to the day and time you have decided. After continuing this ritual for a while, you will notice that you have experienced tangible positive changes in your relationship. You will be happy to see how much the feeling of being “We” improves your relationship while protecting your own private space in your relationship. In addition, spending time with your spouse is not just time spent together, it will be a positive reflection on yourself and your relationship if you spend quality time and have a private time with your spouse, even if it is for an hour, that your marriage will progress strong and solid, and that you will have opportunities to develop yourself and be supportive.


To spend quality time; You shouldn’t say, “It’s passed us now, how many years have we been married” and stop doing it. Any relationship can feel monotonous after a long time due to the sameness principle. Meet with your spouse again at intervals that you set for yourself, such as 3 years, 5 years, 7 years. Because your spouse is not the person you were when you first got married, but as time passes, they evolve into a new person. Just like you are not the person you were the day you got married. You will see, your marriage will defy time more and more with each passing day.

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