What is the priority that motivates you to be with your partner? What is your biggest dream that you want to do together lately? Do you know the source of disappointment in your marriage for a while? When the spouses ask some such questions to each other, if the answer is difficult and wrong, or it does not come at all, it is possible to say that your attention is disconnected from the depths of the marriage, so your marriage may be going on automatic pilot.
Having a momentary marriage is when the spouses are deliberately together at that moment, being together is a choice, your priority is to be completely connected with them and to minimize the current stressors and blockers that will distract you, to offer the attention to the other party and to stay close to establish a healthy relationship. .
A momentary marriage does not happen all at once. In this age, people are very busy. Responsibilities and workload have increased. There are millions of things to easily give attention to instead of a partner. For example, consider a conversation in the kitchen. As if you are a partner who runs the house, sentences like this can be used. ‘Did you pay the bills? This week it’s your turn to do the laundry. We will go shopping for dinner. Please stop by the carpenter on the way to school. Did you find someone to repair the roof of the house?” And many more sentences designed for you can be added here. While listening to these conversations from the outside, it seems like the smoothest and most catchy phrase to say that you are running a kind of family business. Well, while all this is happening, there are some ways that you can pay attention and tighten your bonds and take you into a warmer atmosphere.
1. Create rituals together.
This step will help connect you. An activity plan that you will create together outside of your habits can be made quite simple and useful. Here, first, the spouses can come up with a skeleton of what they want to do by asking each other questions. You need to adopt the principle of listening and understanding correctly as much as asking questions. Pillow-chat ritual can warm you up even when you’re just napping in bed. Two basic questions like how was your day, have you ever had a hard time during the day, and allow you to be with him by accompanying the story of his day. When it becomes a tradition to sleep with happy dreams and saying I love you, it will be more enjoyable to fall asleep.
2. Put aside the technological tools.
Technology is at the top of the barriers that distract you at home. Two hands go to the phone, the whole ambiance can be spoiled with a notification sound. The screen always presents an interesting image, video, news that will attract attention. In such situations, when you are eating, watching a movie, busy with a special activity for you, at least picking up the phone at that time and heading towards the activity will make you much more in the moment.
3. Set up a regular date night.
Dating organization doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy. You just have to make sure that you are completely focused on your partner. The dates of these appointments are always clear. Prepare for each other. Eat something and just chat. Don’t let your schedule get in the way and delay it.
4. Be tactful.
Details deepen you. A healthy and enjoyable marriage does not happen by itself. Minds are always filled with work, payments, children, friends, hobbies and more. Being able to pay attention to your partner’s presence as you cycle through all of this is a matter of grace. You’ll find it’s worth it when you really give it your focus.