Loss and Grief Process

“I have an indescribable pain inside me.”

“No one understands this pain without experiencing it.”

“I never thought I would lose her.”

“How am I going to live with this pain now?”

“How will this pain end?”

Don’t these sentences sound familiar to you too? Maybe these words came out of your mouth when you lost a loved one, maybe you heard it from the mouth of a loved one when you were comforting him. Maybe in the news in the evening agency, maybe from the mouth of a character in the TV series you watched, I know that these sentences sound familiar to you, I’m sure you have heard and witnessed them before. Because these are the words that go through our minds when we lose someone we love. We couldn’t help but think about how uncertain life would be after that, without experiencing our pain and mourning.

You and I all knew that death is the truth of life, we were conscious of it, but we could not put it on our loved ones, at that hospital room door, the doctor said: “Be prepared for anything.” life was to wait with hope that he would get better despite it, so we could never be expected to be prepared for death. That’s why all losses are painful. Pain is a very human emotion.

Grieving the loss of a person is also a very natural process that must be experienced. But every person is unique, so you should not expect everyone to give the same reactions. Some begin to mourn as soon as they receive the news of their disappearance, while others postpone their mourning for a few days and then begin to mourn. While some of them express their grief by crying a lot, some of them show their reaction by not crying. Again, some people complete the grieving process in a few days, while for others this process is longer. The important thing is how do you react to grief, how do you experience the grieving process and do you allow it? Because if you consciously avoid mourning, you may experience physical and mental ailments shortly or afterwards. That’s why your mourning is so precious.

Live your life to the fullest! If you want to cry, don’t hold back, “I don’t want to look weak.”, “I have to stand firm.” Say and live the mourning to the fullest, because when you do not experience your mourning and postpone it, it will remain like a big black cloud inside you and will grow bigger as you hold it inside, will not be able to fit inside, will want to get out when you can’t fit in, it will bore you, maybe it will hurt your heart, maybe it will make you feel with a different body pain, ” I am here!” he will shout, so as long as you try to delay it by not living it, it will not disappear, it will grow bigger, waiting for you to experience it. Let the dark clouds inside you disperse, let them mourn, don’t worry about looking weak, I know that’s how society taught you. “A man stands strong, does not cry.”, “You are a mother, don’t cry next to your children.”, “Your family is already very sad, at least you stay strong, keep them alive.” So many words we’ve heard…

Just because you’re grieving doesn’t mean you’re weak. Crying in front of your children does not create a powerless parent figure in the eyes of your children. Let your children witness the mourning process, share your mourning with them because I know it will be good.

In order to continue your life in a normal and healthy way, you need to mourn and complete the grieving process. At the end of this grieving process, you will be able to make the loss a part of your life and you will learn to live with it.

Just because you’re learning to live with this loss doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten or no longer love the person you lost. It just means that you accept the loss and the feelings associated with it, are able to deal with those feelings, and learn to live with them.

And finally, when you ask, “When will this pain end?” saying. Contrary to popular belief, your pain will never decrease, your pain will not decrease over time. Any pain, sadness or mourning that we think will lessen with time will mature you. As you mature, you will feel that pain subside. You will learn to deal with that pain.

While the grieving process is so natural, it can be challenging. Give yourself time. Share your feelings, pain and grief with people you trust. I know it’s hard: you don’t want to sleep, nothing goes down your throat, you don’t want to eat, but don’t neglect your physical needs so that you can get through this process more easily. And whatever the grief reactions you experience, be sure to remind yourself that these are normal reactions. Feel that you are not alone.

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