Living With Anger

Anger in literature an emotional response to unsatisfied wants, undesirable outcomes, and unmet expectations is defined as. Anger accompanies us like many emotions in our lives, and anger is one of the healthy emotions contrary to what is known. But when anger gets out of control and becomes destructive, it can cause problems in your daily routine, personal relationships, work life, and the overall quality of your life. There are some key issues that we’re going to build on here. These;

Anger is healthy and useful as long as it can be controlled.

Anger is not a problem-solving tool. Anger is an emotional response.

Although anger appears to be a problem in many societies and interpersonal relationships, it also naturally develops in us. It is actually an alarm system for the body. It is necessary to understand anger. Do you know someone who doesn’t get angry? This is unlikely. Everyone gets angry. However, those who suppress their anger and cannot control it become aggressive. What we want to bring to people is to control anger and ensure that it is expressed and transferred in a healthy way. Thanks to healthy anger control, it is very important for the person to feel relaxed both physically and mentally. The feeling of relaxation reduces stress. So the goal is not to destroy anger. We can never aim to eradicate anger.


This person’s environment, upbringing, etc. varies according to factors. Every situation may not cause the same emotion in everyone, and the same situation may not cause anger for everyone. Anger is also related to how we give meaning to events. However, when we say anger in general, when the person gets an undesirable reaction in the face of the situation, that alarm system is activated and the person starts to feel anger. Anger accompanies us throughout life and can appear in different ways, almost in disguise. When we say anger, the first thing that comes to our minds is shouting, hurting something, but anger can also appear in the form of silence. In other words, not everyone can express their anger in the same way. In other words, a silent person may also be angry and the person may not be aware of it. Awareness of anger is also very important to us. The issue after anger awareness should be focused on the cause of anger and tried to be resolved.


Parents, who are the most basic and active persons in the development of children, should first work on their own anger so that they can lead their children in this regard. It is also very difficult for the children of parents who are constantly angry, express their anger in an unhealthy way and cannot manage their anger, to have a healthy anger control. I will discuss anger in children and its management in more detail in my next articles.


Understanding the underlying causes of anger is essential to resolving anger. Anger does not have a specific source, everything can cause anger, but the same event may not cause anger in every person. In the face of this situation, the person should ask himself the question why did I get angry and go for a solution in line with the answer he received. It is very valuable to be people who can share their anger. The main purpose is to provide this. The anger in the core should be understood. He should manage the anger consciously about what to do.


Intense stress and tension begins in the person. The person is no longer what he was before he was angry. That’s what most people say when they’re angry.’ At that moment, I lost myself as if it was me, not me. Yes, during anger, as many people say, blood splashes into the brain of the person and he may not know what he is saying or doing in anger. In our body in the moment of anger;

Digestion slows down.

jugular veins; especially the parts of the face and forehead are enlarged.

Muscle tension and tremors increase.

Throat is dry due to decreased salivary gland secretion.

Sweating increases, skin resistance decreases.

A glitch and crack begins in the voice.

The body leans forward and prepares for the attack.

The eyes darken, the breathing accelerates, the mouth is closed and the teeth are clenched, so breathing is provided by opening the nostrils.

To sum up, anger is not an emotion that we want to prevent or destroy, but it is something we want the person to experience, but it should be expressed in a healthy way. At the same time, if anger is not expressed properly, it manifests itself by causing some somatic (physical) discomfort. Examples of these are heart diseases, hypertension, depression, digestive system.

Anger should not be aggressively vented. The angry person should be expressed in a respectful way without violating the boundaries of the other person, without hurting them emotionally and physically. Instead of talking in anger, it will be healthier for communication to talk about the point of discomfort after a while.

We need to control our anger before it takes over us. People who think that the feeling of anger has gotten out of control and has become almost unbearable should definitely apply to a mental health personnel.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *