– Is there an equivalent for the concept of “ideal couple”?
Popular couples with many striking features such as rich, beautiful, successful and handsome, appearing in the media/social media, create the ideal couple perception when viewed from the outside. Apart from this, the lovers we know from movies, novels and legends also contribute to the formation of a similar dream. It is not known how ideal these lovers are, but the concept of ideal couple can be defined as establishing and maintaining a relationship where each of the two individuals in the relationship is happy, can exist individually, get satisfaction from their relationship as a couple, and do all these without damaging other areas and without being destructive.
– Can everyone have a soul mate?
It exists according to Plato’s “Symposium”. The story in this work is as follows; Aristophanes gives a speech on the history of love. And in the speech he tells: “People used to be four-armed, four-legged, Hermaphrodite and very powerful creatures. Because they were self-sufficient and very strong, they made all kinds of riots and neglected to honor the gods. One day, the gods got very angry and cut people in half; one side became a man and one side a woman. The parts that were divided into two were so scared that they hugged each other. The gods thought that this would not be the case, and they scattered their bodies in different parts of the world. That’s when the parts that have been half today searched for their other half to be completed. When they found their other half They were reaching true love, namely “soul twins.” Today, soul mate is a concept used for couples who resemble each other in many ways, complement each other in terms of sexual, spiritual, worldview, or are in harmony.
Our search for soul mates is because we love similarities. Attitudes, thoughts, interests, values, etc. We are more likely to like people who are similar to ourselves in many ways. That’s why we look for our soul mate. We can also say that our soul mate is our likeness, which we have in common in many ways.
– Is it right to have such expectations in bilateral relations?
It is not right to expect to find an equal and compatible partner in every aspect of the relationship. Since no person is exactly the same, we should not expect two people to be equal and compatible with each other in all respects. The ideal person should not be perceived as someone who has the same characteristics as ourselves. While forming our personality, there are many factors such as temperament, family attitudes, social environment, education, etc., and this means that different combinations come into play for each person. Therefore, it is not possible for a person to find someone who fits him one hundred percent. When this expectation is too high, the disappointment we experience when differences arise.
– What should be understood when the right person in a relationship is said?
Each person has a unique perception of relationship and expectations within the framework of this perception, and some features that he/she wants to see in the person he/she chooses. It can be said that the more compatible the relationship perceptions of the couples and the features they want to see in the other, the more common values the couple has, the closer they are to the ideal.
– What should be considered in order to get together with the person who fits this description? What are the steps we need to take to attract it into our lives?
First of all, relationship expectations can be asked. It can be learned what kind of relationship the person you meet dreams of, and the compatibility of this dream with real life can be evaluated. For example, if the dream of a person who works very hard is to take a vacation with his lover for months, it should be noticed that there is an inconsistency here and it will only be lived in the dimension of dreams. Realistic approaches will provide a solid foundation for the relationship. After this step, common tastes can be emphasized. Doing enjoyable activities together, making plans shared with friends and social environment will strengthen the relationship. It’s important to keep the balance, sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. If you create a habit and familiarity with the person you choose, you will take the right step. Physical proximity is an important factor for building familiarity.
– Is it a good idea to meet new people in different environments instead of spending time with familiar people in the same environment?
You are likely to find a more compatible person from the common circle. However, if you have been in the same environment for a long time and have not had a partner candidate, you can try to enter different environments. At this point, what you need to pay attention to is to be in an environment where your favorite hobbies, pleasures and artistic activities are suitable for your lifestyle. This way, you will be more likely to meet people with a high compatibility with you.
– Is it right to get stuck in the past and look for people with similar characteristics to previous relationships, that is, to stick to the tried one?
Mostly not true. If your past relationship had been a satisfying one, it would still be ongoing. When it comes to relationships, there is a dynamic structure that we call the reflection of family dynamics, in which our behaviors, thoughts and feelings in relationships are directed from our subconscious, which we are mostly unaware of. For this reason, analyzing the relationships that have ended is very useful in terms of being able to realize our relationship dynamics and gaining new gains. Such as approaching new relationships from different perspectives and having richer relationships, recognizing the mistakes made in the past relationship and ensuring that they are not made in new relationships.
– Should a man or woman sacrifice themselves to meet the expectations of the person they consider to be their ideal partner?
It is a common behavior that people compromise themselves at the beginning of every relationship. When concessions are made, there is a risk of misrepresenting yourself to the other party. For example, if your lover wants to eat kebab every time you meet and you do this by sacrificing your own wishes, although you don’t like kebab most of the time, your lover will think that you always want to eat kebab just like him. This is an unhealthy form of compromise. However, it is healthy ways to give importance to your partner and your relationship, to take care of it, to make mutual efforts for the continuation of the relationship, to find common options instead of mutual compromises.
– If a person wants to start the new year with a relationship, should all ways be permissible? Or is it best to get together with the right person at the right time?
Matching with the right person at the right time is something that most people dream of, but we can’t control exactly when it will happen. I guess the only thing that comes to mind when every way is permissible is to live a relationship where you feel that you will not get full satisfaction, and that you approach only for the sake of trying, just for the sake of my relationship. In this case, it would not be correct to say “live or not live” as we do not know the result. Just this point should not be overlooked. If this isn’t exactly your ideal relationship or person, if you attach your ideal relationship or person to someone they’ll never be, you’ll end up just being disappointed. Instead, you should try to get to know the person, to understand whether you can love as you get to know them, and to see the truth.
– Well, we came across someone, we started a good relationship. How can we be sure that he is the right person?
First of all, if we want to have a good coexistence, people must be able to determine what their wants and needs are. Being aware of your own feelings and thoughts is the first step. A person may not always be aware of what his deepest needs are. A person can convey these to others only to the extent that he is aware of his expectations from life and from the person with whom he is in a relationship, for this it is very important that the bond that a person establishes with himself and being open to himself is very important. A person who is open to himself and has a high awareness can understand what the wants and needs of other people are and the boundaries between them. The next step is to talk about whether these expectations can be met by your partner, and to determine whether there is an open and correct communication channel between you. If your partner is open to communication, development, new perspectives and sensitive to your reasonable expectations, we can say that he is the right person.
– Anything you want to add?
I wish everyone a happy new year with the opportunity to live their ideal relationship.