Know These For Happy Marriage!

In this text m What you need to know for a happy marriage, what are the secrets of long-lasting happy marriages? happy marriage psychologyI’ll be talking about things like:

In your marriage or relationship life, you experience many periods of ups and downs in your emotions. In some of these periods, you find yourself in a spring or a sunny summer month where the scent of flowers comes. But sometimes there is such a cold weather in your relationship that everything freezes and you don’t know how to get out of this process. In fact, there is such a hopeless atmosphere that it is as if there is no way out. Every relationship goes through good and bad times. Even in a period when you think you are in a very good period, everything can turn upside down, and in a period when everything seems very bad, with some efforts, things can come back on track. Every union has its own unique dynamics. But if you can’t nurture your relationship in a healthy way, you can move from sunny, hot days to a climate where leaves suddenly turn yellow and fall, and the weather gets cloudy and rainy.

The Most Brutal and Coldest Periods of Relationships: Black Winter

If you are one of those couples who experience these cold days in your relationship, you generally try to stay away from almost anything that bothers you. There is a freezing cold in the mood of your relationship, and you often turn inward to keep warm, wanting to see a hint of warming in the air. You don’t want to go out unless it’s warmed up. Just like waiting for the month of April.. But you avoid taking any steps to bring the relationship to that warm air.

If you are going through a similar process, you may tend to be destructive in your behavior, sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously. And as a result of this tendency, you may exhibit violent behavior, make hurtful words towards your spouse or partner, and be hurtful. Of course, when communication problems, non-constructive discussions and critical words are added to all these problems, the relationship takes a serious blow. The process, which started as only verbal abuse at first, can turn into physical abuse after a while and the last drop of the glass may overflow with “infidelity” problems.

Couples who experience such a turn experience pessimistic feelings in their union and begin to be cruel to each other. At first, everything seems to start only verbally, then feelings start to change and diverge, and unless a solution is found, they start to avoid being in the same environment (married couples may separate their bedrooms). Although the couples in this process do not realize it, they are actually separated from each other emotionally, sexually and physically. There is only one legal difference left. If an effort is not made to blow warm winds in a short time, unfortunately, this is something that will happen. This juncture is also a difficult juncture accompanied by feelings of double helplessness.

Periods of Breaking Moments: Spring Months

These periods of togetherness have both positive and negative sides. You can also travel to the spring, where you can nurture many feelings of beauty, love and hope from a period when cold winds blow, you can experience a breaking moment while experiencing the beauties of the summer heat, you can stumble in a relationship and encounter the sad clouds of autumn.

So you; What stage of your relationship are you in?

In the phase where you struggle to move from freezing cold to mild spring weather?

Or is it at the stage where you suddenly regress towards autumn, out of the warm, sunny weather, where you can’t understand what’s going on?

The Warmest and Best Moments of the Relationship: Summer Season

If you are one of the couples experiencing this period in the relationship, you are experiencing a period of togetherness where you feel very happy, realize that you are satisfied and at the same time feel successful. Although everything looks so good, you should not forget that this period also has certain risks. It’s like dreaming of eating beautiful berries in the summer, and considering the fact that poison ivy might come and get entangled with the fruit you never expected. If you don’t water the buds that bloom in your relationship enough and at regular intervals, your buds will stay where they are without opening.

The union of the couples living in this period resembles a flower when viewed from the outside or inside. They smell great, smell great, and display great, but they need to be watered down. Couples who have managed to survive this warm weather for a long time in their union are the couples who have learned how to maintain this happiness they have achieved. They have not neglected to nurture this togetherness and in order to maintain this happiness, they have been open to continuous development and learning, and have sought new ways.

Here Are Some Secrets Of These Relationships

1-Constructive Communication: One of the most important skills in a happy relationship is the ability for couples to talk and discuss with each other in a healthy way. In the process of deciding to be together, the couples make some cultural and traditional promises to each other. But there are a few more extreme issues that need to be promised. The first of these is that you can leave the door open somehow, no matter what condition you are in. That is, if an action or a word made by one of the couples offends the other, the offended party will be able to tell the other person about it, and the other spouse or partner will promise to be eager to listen to it. Another issue is that you do not go to bed with this anger and resentment at the end of the day when you are angry or hurt each other no matter what. Take the risk of staying awake until the morning, staying awake all night, but don’t go to bed angry and resentful.

2-Accept Your Differences: You should know that there may be issues that you cannot agree on in your relationship. I tried to communicate and said what I had to say, for me the topic is over, trying to get out of the business by saying that what I said is already accepted is an act of justifying yourself and satisfying your ego, but it will not solve your problem. Every individual has differences and these differences are the features that make us who we are and make us special, and it is often our differences that draw us to each other. In a relationship, you should give your partner the freedom to be different, think, feel and react differently. There is a famous line from the movie “Every child is special”. It is tried to be explained that each child has different characteristics and; “Even 5 of the 5 fingers on your hand are not the same. Push and pull if you want, try to align them, your fingers will break.” As with any human being, your spouse/partner will also have shortcomings. However, there are also positive aspects… If you try to pay attention to your positive features in each other instead of the differences in each other, try to increase your savings in the love bank of your relationship, strive for this, try to make up for the deficiencies in this area, you will realize that your spouse or partner will also meet your needs more sincerely and more easily. you will begin. It is better to do something and fail than to succeed without doing anything in life. Take a step for it.

3-Spend time together: Couples can go through tough times in their relationships. Occasionally, they may argue with their families, move to different cities, and if they are married, they may have disagreements about raising children. However, no matter what, to see these struggles as situations that will put your togetherness on a more solid foundation and to be together at least a few days a week under any condition; Even if it is going for a walk, going to the grocery store to buy bread, or watching a movie while sitting next to each other, doing activities together will make you happier and strengthen your love, as a result of numerous researches. As long as you are close to each other and touch, you make your love and relationship more enjoyable.

4- Confront Your Past Mistakes: Couples who constantly stumble in their relationship need to understand this very well. Everyone can make mistakes, as they do.

So, have you forgiven your spouse or partner’s mistakes?

Or do you think these mistakes are forgivable?

Or, instead of forgiving these mistakes, do you reserve them to present them in every large and small discussion you may have?

If you are in a period of cold winds in your relationship, remember this! First, each of the couples should identify the mistakes in their past and devote more time to this issue in order to be able to process them, express their regret in some way and be forgiving at the same time. It is easiest to count the mistakes made by your spouse or partner. What about your contributions to the emergence of this problem… Problems in a relationship are never one-sided. Both parties contribute to the emergence and subsequent development of a problem. But this contribution is sometimes 10%, sometimes 50%, sometimes 90%. These contributions are sometimes caused by the words you say, sometimes by the reactions you show, and sometimes by your lack of communication.

With all the emotional resentment experienced, this is not an easy process. But if you fail to do so, you may not be able to progress further in this relationship. If you have too much difficulty, I suggest you seek professional support. Otherwise, this association may not have much meaning. It may even be over, but you have a hard time admitting it.

5-Break the negativity cycle: First of all, we need to admit that we often have negative thoughts. We often find reasons to reason and excuse our negative thoughts. We even say to ourselves, “How could I react differently if he treats me like this?” Finding a logical excuse for these kinds of approaches we exhibit is nothing but taking the easy way out.

In order to solve the problem, we must first try to gain the ability to think positively. Because at every breaking point, the accusatory party becomes the party and if this continues to appear in our minds in the form of automatic negative thoughts, unfortunately, thoughts can turn into actions after a while. In other words, you only think at first, but after a while you start to believe what you think, and these thoughts you believe begin to guide your behavior. But if we can turn our thoughts in a positive direction, this will also affect our actions in a positive way.

In order to create this positive impact, you can start by identifying the positive aspects of your spouse/partner. If I ask you about the negative aspects of your spouse/partner, you can immediately list a lot of things, but when I ask about the positive aspects, even though you know that there are positive aspects, the problems you experience have affected your life so much that they prevent you from seeing them, and when you prevent them, your negative thought can turn into belief and eventually into negative action.

My suggestion to you is to make a list of the positive traits you have in your spouse/partner. Try to find positive things. In fact, if you are married, ask for the help of your children. “Regardless of the problem” seek help from your own family to find positive aspects of your spouse/partner. them ” ….. Which features of ‘ do you like? Do you appreciate? or are you watching with admiration? I believe you can manage to draw a fairly long list of positive traits about your spouse/partner. Even if this list is short, at least you will have found something positive to focus on.

Try to verbally express your appreciation for the positive situations you notice. This may be difficult at first, but you can achieve it by setting small goals for yourself. For example, starting with a sentence of appreciation only once a week. Don’t rush! Don’t try to be fast! Take small steps. If you can see that you can succeed once, you can spread it to other days of the week after a while and give a new life to your marriage by saying nice things. When you start using words of acceptance instead of critical language, you will begin to realize that your partner will also start to have good feelings towards you, will start to develop positive thoughts about you over time and will take a positive approach towards you. This is definitely not manipulation. It’s just a natural consequence of being appreciated and feeling it.

Sometimes our clients are okay, but what about my spouse’s/partner’s negative behaviors? How will this approach of mine change him? They ask questions like Yes, maybe there will not be a change immediately, but your warm approach will provide a movement in the dynamics of your relationship and will change his behavior in a positive way after a while. Where there is influence, there will be a reaction. The positive, warm atmosphere and approach created will pave the way for a positive reaction, the glacial layers formed will begin to melt under the influence of the sun, and the hopeful mood of spring will begin to be felt and seen. This is not a deep psychological phenomenon. It’s just a simple matter of common sense.

Ask yourself this question: Can I say the following sentence about my spouse/partner?

“I feel like I am sharing a life with my most sincere and best friend, I am happy, peaceful and comfortable. We have experienced together that there can be many difficulties in life, but this situation made us more close to each other. We find peace in each other.”

If your answer to this question is yes, you have a happy and lasting relationship and have learned some skills to maintain it. But remember, you must continue to nurture your relationship periodically.

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