Our emotions are a force that makes our thoughts clearer. A court that reconciles us with the world. We tie our own decisions to a conclusion in that court, and we draw a path for ourselves with those results. Sometimes I think that our emotions, which disable our logic most of the time and always make us feel their weight in every corner of our body, never accept responsibility when the results are poured in front of them. If Frida Kahlo’s bodily pains, Saileri’s jealousy of Mozart, Dali’s endless love for herself, would it have been possible for Nazım to live in a foreign country if he had not entered a war with her when our reason was trying to divert us from that path? Would the victor in this war appear as a set of choices in our lives?
According to the science of psychology, emotion is defined as: ‘ Impressions and reactions of an event, person or object in the inner world and body of a person.’ In psychology, emotions that can be observed and measured are generally considered. Emotions that cannot be observed directly or indirectly (eg compassion…) are not addressed. Some of the basic emotions that psychology deals with are pleasure, fear, anxiety, curiosity, anger and aggression. As it is said in the definition, these feelings can cause some reactions in us. For example; In case of any threat or stress, we become defensive and give violent physiological reactions. These reactions are generally due to the combination of emotions we form against the ordinary situation. So where does love end up in all this reactive math?
It is not possible to give a general definition of love. Everyone has their own definition of love. According to social anthropologists, love is “a sexual passion.” According to psychologists, “Love is being both normal and neurotic, creative and destructive.” According to the philosophers, “Love is one thing for men and another for women. But for everyone, it is the main source of good and evil, beauty and ugliness, and it is a situation where you realize that you have never been in love until you fall in love.’ Which definition would you accept? One subject we can probably describe with a word or a sigh is love. Despite the fact that it has been said, written, lived and told from language to language, we cannot take refuge in a single definition. The biggest factor in this is that each lover’s way of living love is different. We can say that the way we live our lives affects a phenomenon that causes enthusiastic behavior for some of us and shy behavior for others.
The moment we feel that we are in love, parts of our brain that are described as the ‘reward system’ become active. In this respect, it perceives the person we fall in love with as a ‘reward’ with the hormone dopamine released. This hormone secretion allows us to connect with the person we love more passionately. It is a reward mechanism that shows us that we can spend the rest of our lives happily, and that the butterflies in us can live forever at any moment… The situation where a word, a look, a behavior cause all the stones of our lives to be displaced and redesigned. While we wait for a tree we planted for ourselves to grow, we continue our lives by spreading smiles everywhere as if we own the whole forest. We do not suppress the desire to experience this state of joy over and over again, and we start to go more on this feeling. Thus, the ‘feeling’ that gives us a smooth life above the clouds suddenly turns into an addiction.
This addiction coincides with the state of being ‘obsessed’ and love, which is the source of insatiable passions in a sense, can turn into a mental disorder. When the enthusiastic mood starts to become very difficult to control, it can build walls in our lives that are very difficult to prevent, and a person can only realize this when he is under that wall. With the suddenly deranged mood and falling hormonal values, the world feels like the world has stopped turning forever for the person who is deprived of their loved ones. Thus, symptoms such as fear, depression, anxiety appear.
We are starting to compete with the death of many things within us that make us who we are, for the place of the immortal loves described in our world of literature. At this point, how could love, which cannot be defined as an emotion, have managed to become the highest emotion in the world for us? Stay in love…