Is homosexual therapy possible? How does homosexuality occur?

Although it has not been proven empirically (scientifically) until now, it is always thought that physical or mental factors are effective.

Gay and bisexual people think and feel that their parents no longer love them, do not understand them, cannot comprehend their feelings. Families cannot help “in this matter” and rather ignore this situation by remaining “silent” in the face of it. Is this a generation gap? Or is it simply due to ignorance, ignorance and fear?

As long as heterosexuals cannot come to terms with homosexuals, they will remain a topical topic in research on the causes of homosexuality.

Many people want to know what the source of homosexuality is. The question I want to know at this point is why people want to know this. Perhaps the explanation for this is why many people differ from what is considered standard in the heterosexual society. Or is it sought for a defense of being more so-called different in this way?

There are many different hypotheses about the emergence of homosexuality and these can be grouped under three main groups.

In the first group of these theses, it is believed that every human being is born with a certain sexual orientation.

In the second group, it is predicted that every person is influenced by their own social environment during their childhood and youth, and therefore they are homosexual or heterosexual.

In the theses in the third group, it is believed that there are side factors, what is meant here is; The genetic factors present in humans need to be strengthened by being supported by the social environment in the first years of life, and homosexual development can also occur in this way.

Here, the questions arise whether people actually want to explain homosexuality and why they want it.

It is based on genetic causes and similarly a “gay/lesbian gene” The theories in the first group, which are believed to exist, are baseless. Because there is no evidence of this theory or any evidence of the existence of such a gene. In 1993, American researcher Dean Hamer wanted to find a “gay gene” on the x-chromosomes that jointly causes homosexuality in men. Dean Hamer’s thesis was refuted in a short time.

The thesis of the mother’s hormonal status during pregnancy, which causes the homosexual development of the child, has been refuted by the scientists. Because there is no demonstrable connection here.

The theories in the second group, which consider social factors as the cause of homosexual development, are likewise refuted today. From a statistical point of view, gay people have similar childhood experiences as heterosexuals. In terms of a particular upbringing, whether parents are divorced or deceased, and other defining life experiences, the experiences that gay people have and have had during their childhood are not at all different, and not more frequent, than heterosexual people. From this point of view, it is concluded that upbringing, a possible divorce, the death of one of the parents, or the events that occurred in childhood have no effect on whether a person is heterosexual or homosexual. In this group, special attention is paid to family relationships; It is desirable to relate that homosexuality stems from a dominant mother and a weak father model. Likewise, conditions such as a pronounced maternal bond or an unsuccessful father-son relationship are also seen as causes of homosexuality in men. Homosexuality is generally thought to occur as a result of inhibition of feelings towards the other sex. Differences between men and women in the family are never mentioned. Therefore, the child automatically grows timid towards this unfamiliar situation, in other words the opposite sex, and feels closer to the sex he can trust, or rather his own.

Years ago, the Kinsey-Institute in the United States examined all these previously claimed explanatory experiences. According to Kinsey, “excessive maternal attachment”, “father-son relationship”, “breeding errors”and similarly “defects” or ” sexual games between siblings None of the presumed reasons such as ” constitute a basis for the investigations. Gay men are no more attached to their mothers than straight men. Alfred Charles Kinsey was an American sexologist who conducted the first statistical research on the sexual behavior of women and men.

Here, which is an even more difficult subject and is referred to as such, “the care hypothesis” should be focused on. Here, it is assumed that a heterosexual young person is encouraged to have sexual contact by an older gay man even though he does not want it, and that the young person in question is homosexual due to this first sexual contact. This is a thesis that has been scientifically refuted long ago today. Most homosexuals say that they were aware of their homosexuality many years before they had their first sexual experience.

Why homosexuality occurs is a very wrong question, and as I mentioned above, no scientific research has been able to provide an explanation for the cause of homosexuality. Instead of asking the question of the reason for homosexuality, the difficulties in the living conditions of homosexuals should be mentioned.

The vast majority of parents ask themselves why their son or daughter is gay.

Behind these questions they often investigate their own mistakes:

  • What did I do wrong?
  • As a mother, am I failing?
  • Did I cause him to become too attached to me?
  • I wonder if, as a father, I didn’t show him exactly what it means to be a man?

Suggestions for parents:

  • When you find out that your son is gay or your daughter is a lesbian, first of all, to understand and embrace this new situation, give yourself time .
  • If this information frightens you, do not reproach anyone. This issue is your a parent aspect successful It has nothing to do with whether you are or not.
  • To your son or daughter, calmly Say you need time and use this move to develop a new perception of homosexuality.
  • with others on this talk to get advice and information is overwhelmingly beneficial.
  • Own of blaming yourself avoid. Because upbringing has no effect on sexual orientations.
  • Avoid blaming your son or daughter because no one’s sexual orientation by himself can’t choose .
  • By a trained and expert person from getting help don’t hesitate.

As early as 1977, a sexuality researcher Gotz Kokott Examining all the hypotheses regarding the formation of homosexuality, he concluded that none of these hypotheses were convincing. He concluded in 1995 that “the causes of homosexuality are unknown”. American psychoanalyst Hopcke He concluded that all these theses were based, first of all, on speculation, legends and mythologies, and that “It is completely unreasonable to develop theories about its origin”. In this context Kinseythat homosexuality and heterosexuality are not sharply separated features, “There are no sharp distinctions in nature. Only humans make the categorization and try to gather reality under different divisions by forcing it”he said it clearly and unequivocally.

WiedemannHe is of the opinion that if “we knew how” homosexuality was formed, many people could use them to eradicate homosexuality, so it is better that we do not know the reasons for how homosexuality occurs.

Psychotherapists Hassenmüller and Wiedemann According to , even asking questions about the causes of homosexuality is a sign of seeing homosexual people as disabled, mentally unstable or sick, and even just investigating the causes is morally justifiable. Contrary to the prejudice that homosexuality can be a disease and that they are different from normal people, Fritz Morgenthaler, Swiss Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst and Trainer, ” The assumption that choosing a homosexual partner is a symptom and that homosexuality makes an individual mentally ill is an insult. The experiences of people in all cultures show that homosexuality affects people’s own sexual lives. normally one of the possible possibilities.”, he shows in his article.

What is Couples Therapy practices for same-sex couples?

First of all, it is inevitable to encounter disagreements in relationships between couples. This applies to both opposite-sex relationships and same-sex relationships. It’s normal to have tension in relationships where people are lovingly attached to each other. People cannot remain indifferent to each other. It can be seen that this situation causes different problems and disagreements between couples.

Do you experience one or more of the following problems and conflicts in your own relationship?

  • Individual disagreements about the relationship between couples
  • Disputes and crisis situations that arise as a result of relationship dynamics between couples
  • Fighting, arguing cycles and power struggles between spouses
  • Communication problems between spouses
  • Problems of jealousy, trust and doubt in relationships between spouses
  • sexual and emotional infidelity
  • Loss of trust as a result of cheating
  • sexually open-ended relationships
  • Establishing a common “we” between spouses and providing personal freedom areas.

Counseling and Therapy services provide the following problems to be solved and to cope with these problems more easily:

  • Questions about your sexual orientation and sexual personality
  • Difficulties encountered in the Coming Out process
  • Questions and problems related to sexuality
  • Questions about the desire of men and women leading a homosexual life to have children
  • Fears about sexual experiences and protection
  • Questions about sexual preference (fetishism, CD, BDSM, etc.)
  • Lack of knowledge about safe sex and sexually transmitted diseases
  • Information about HIV/AIDS
  • friendship problems
  • love pains
  • Dilemmas related to the roles undertaken in the relations between the couples
  • Doubts and hesitations about your sexual orientations
  • Fears of intimacy, intimacy and/or relationships
  • Disputes within the family
  • Exposure to violence and/or sexual assault
  • Depression and/or suicidal thoughts
  • Anxiety (Fear) and/or panic attacks
  • Having trouble with loneliness and/or old age
  • Difficulty dealing with separation, abandonment, and grieving
  • Experiencing professional difficulties (discrimination, mobbing, burnout syndrome, etc.)
  • Existential distress, loss of perspective, and/or issues of meaning

How can I create a positive self despite prejudices and discrimination?

It has been determined that psychological disorders occur more in homosexual individuals compared to heterosexual individuals due to the discrimination they are exposed to in daily life. For this reason, the need for psychotherapeutic help for homosexual individuals arises more. However, a homosexual individual in a victim situation has doubts and concerns about how therapists will react to the discriminations they experience or whether they are competent in this regard.

In order to eliminate these doubts and concerns, the individual or couple therapy counseling service meticulously pays attention to the following issues;

  • Keeping the shares strictly confidential
  • Creating a sharing environment based on mutual respect
  • Providing an impartial and non-judgmental environment
  • Addressing problems with a solution-oriented approach

Topics Covered in Individual or Couple Counseling Services

LGBTIQ+ people’s questions about relationships

The most important part of these questions is how openly and self-confident homosexual individuals live their lives. In counseling services, problems related to typical relationship life between homosexual individuals are discussed.

Sex, Sexuality and Homosexuality

“How do we experience our state of being a homosexual individual?” and “How should we shape our lives as a gay couple?” questions are handled within the scope of consultancy service.

Cultural and religious disputes

Within the scope of the consultancy service, religious and cultural elements are also taken into account while seeking solutions to the problems of homosexual individuals. The conflicts that the individual has with his hometown and culture and the effects of this situation on his current relationship are examined. (Individual’s Cultural Codes)

Secret or open relationship?

As with heterosexual couples, the type of life partnership relationships between same-sex couples are also considered within the scope of counseling services. In line with this question, “Which model is appropriate for this type of relationship?” and “What is the appropriate scope for our partnership?” such questions arise.

When the subject of relationship is considered, there may be classical monogamous relationships or open relationships between same-sex couples. There are also short-term forms of intercourse where sexual pleasure is particularly important. However, in the vast majority of spousal relationships between same-sex couples, classical forms of relationship are desired and preferred. Information on the concept of relationship and its diversity is provided within the scope of consultancy service according to the desires and wishes of individuals and couples.

Gay Counseling and Gay Therapy

to you for gay people and couples I would like to give information about the consultancy service that I applied. I have been providing consultancy services to gay men and women in many countries of the world for many years. I apply counseling services in two different ways as individual and couples.

The basis of my story of starting the counseling service for gay individuals is the aim of enabling homosexual individuals and couples to exchange ideas and express their feelings and opinions towards each other clearly and openly, thus enabling them to establish healthy communication. Since I started my counseling services, my goal is to enable same-sex couples to share these ideas and opinions in a safe and healthy environment.

As for my views on homosexuality;

The efforts of homosexuals to establish a life togetherness by being interested in each other have been seen and will be seen in every period of history. Because homosexuality is normal and normal. Sexuality is not just about sexual intercourse. Sexuality is a comprehensive term that includes love as well as sexual intercourse. Homosexuality (homosexuality) is the equivalent of heterosexuality in terms of sexual feelings, experiences and love. There is a homosexual orientation in individuals who are attracted to individuals belonging to the same sex.

Desire and preferred sexual behaviors are not dispensable orientations. These sexual behaviors are the basic parts that make up the personality of individuals.

sexual orientation It is not a behavior that can be changed. To give an example of this situation; If no one can question why a zebra has stripes or expect a zebra to change its stripes, then no one can question an individual’s sexual orientation and expect him to change it.

Your sexual orientations Contrary to the general belief, the parent’s way of raising children does not have any effect on the formation of the child. Depending on the growing environment in the parent’s home, there may be a change in the speed of sexual orientation only.

Your sexual orientation It is stated in the above lines that individuals are an irreplaceable part of their personal selves. In this case, the most important thing is for individuals to be aware of this situation, to reveal it and to be able to live this awareness.

There is no question of “treating” any individual for their sexual orientation. Considering that no one can determine their sexual orientation voluntarily, it is impossible to talk about concepts such as “treatment” or “normalization process”. In the 21st century, some Therapists or Physicians still think that homosexuality can be treated with so-called “reparative therapies” or, in English, “reparative therapy”.

Sociosexual development is the process of learning to live one’s own sexual nature, which is an inseparable part of one’s personality. Just as no theory has been developed so far regarding the formation of heterosexuality or no research has been done on the causes that cause heterosexuality; It is unnecessary to conduct such research on homosexuality.

Today, scientists believe that heterosexuality or to the causes of homosexualityInstead of conducting research on the subject, it is interested in the development of relationships and increasing the sustainability of existing relationships without discrimination of heterosexual or homosexual.

In the light of these new developments, traditional evaluation criteria have also changed. Ultimately, sexual desires are obvious, and what it takes to make those desires come true is present in almost every human being.

Individuals, men or women why are they gayIt is concerned with whether many homosexual individuals, individually or as a couple, continue their lives by forming their own personalities in a healthy way.

Today, scientists define heterosexuality and homosexuality by accepting different formations of human sexuality, which can develop in many different ways. Therefore, homosexuality is neither a disease nor an abnormal behavior.

Moreover homosexualityman’s opposition to his own nature, type of heresy, a rapeIt is not an indication of the situation or moral collapse that occurs as a result of the event. Homosexualityis just one of the evolving ways of human life and the ways in which humanity displays its ability to love.

Unauthorized use, copying and use of published articles without reference is a crime according to Law No. 5846 on Intellectual and Artistic Works. Published articles, articles, news are allowed to be published provided that the content is not changed by showing the source.

Abdullah OZER

Social Worker, Scientist (Clinical Psychology)

Schools of Psychotherapy that he has been trained in:

  • Focusing (DFI)
  • Positive Psychotherapy (WAPP)
  • Psychodynamic Psychotherapy (CSU)
  • Ego State Therapy (EST-DE/ESTI)
  • Ericksonian Psychotherapy (MEG-DE)
  • Logotherapy and Existential Analysis (VFI-Wien)

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