Most of the time, the questions that come to us are about what to do after or while experiencing daily problems with children. However, we care more about the process before problems arise and before they happen. Because each child’s behavior that we see under the name of “problem” reflects a need for us. When those needs are met, we observe that crises or most of the things that come as a problem disappear.
It is not always easy to see the needs of children. For this, parents need to know and observe their children well. I think most mothers have these feelings. In order to care for a baby who never speaks, it is necessary to follow these feelings, see and receive the signals and meet the need. As that baby grows, we think that he will always express himself to us with words. But that’s not the case.
During the day, their needs such as play, movement, communication, “quality” time with parents, eating and drinking, bathing, sleeping, toilet, going out to the open air must be met. The child may complain with “anger attacks” that his mother cannot spare time for himself during the day and may not be able to put it into words. Or he may be sending a signal by “crying at everything” when he gets very tired and can’t realize it. Here, the job falls to the parent, and the parent should be able to see how their child reacts when he is tired and hungry, or that another basic need is hidden behind the crisis he is experiencing.
The child, who has a problem with his peers or teacher at school, may also try to relieve the stress of the whole day by coying and shouting at his mother or father when he sees them. This indicates that the child needs to experience the feeling of being in a safe space. It is very valuable to let him experience that feeling without being taken on you.
One of the best ways to prevent problems before they happen is to establish a routine. If play, movement and time with parents are added to the routines and the child knows this routine, we can observe that the crises and daily problems experienced decrease.
Get to know your child, catch the signal, and meet his needs before he gets in trouble, but don’t be swayed, tricked, or held back, dear parent.