Noting that it is the right time for many things in life, as well as the right time for marriage and having children, Psychologist Naciye Tokaç said, “While sometimes one has to plan for these times and think about opportunities and conditions; sometimes it occurs naturally. For many married couples, the expectation is to have children. However, it is very important for a couple to be ready for a child.
Stating that entering the 3rd year of marriage with children is the most appropriate time to have a child, Tokaç said, “Because the first year is the period when couples will devote to each other, living together and mingling with families. This period, which is quite difficult, is a period in which individuals have difficulties both personally and as a couple, and may even cause separation. For this reason, when dealing with the pregnancy process in the first year, it will be a problematic period for the couple who are not fully accustomed to each other and to living together. For many couples who have survived the first year and have now adopted a married life, the right time may be to enter the 3rd year as a family with children. The most important condition that can affect having a child is the age of the individuals, and therefore their personal development level, rather than the year of marriage. Marriage before the age of 21 for men and before the age of 18 for women; I think it is not appropriate because of the thought that they will have difficulty in coping with the difficulties that marriage may bring. Therefore, these ages must definitely be completed in order to become a parent. More himself individual development; You can guess that individuals who have not completed their adolescence period will not be able to give birth to a child and give him the necessary development.”
Tokaç stated that if one of the couples has a problem such as smoking, alcohol and substance abuse and this affects the marriage negatively, this situation may also negatively affect the life of a child in that house:
“At the same time, it is inevitable that a mental illness that may occur in any of the couples may adversely affect the time to be spent with the child and care for the child during pregnancy and postpartum. Another important condition for pregnancy and having a child is; It is about love, respect and communication between couples. When there are conflicts and problems in marriages, it is often hoped that having a child can resolve problems between couples and bring them closer. However, for couples who have lost love and respect for each other, having children; it will not do anything other than compulsion and self-restriction, and it will lead to deterioration in the mental health of the couples.
For this reason, if there are principles of love and respect between couples and they feel connected to each other, it can be said that it is a suitable time to have a child. Another important issue for pregnancy and having a child is whether the family has sufficient income for a child. One of the undeniable facts; It is very costly to care and raise a child. If the family pays for medical expenses during pregnancy and childbirth; If they do not have a plan to carry out the postnatal life in their normal processes, they have difficulty in spending productive and quality time with their children, as the parents will have difficulties and they will be in a livelihood rush. Thus, while trying to care for their children and meet their needs; It will be inevitable for them to neglect their psychological needs, which are the most important for the child.”
Tokaç said, “However, it should not be forgotten that; Only one child is brought into the world. An individual is brought into society who will become an adult in the future. In adult life, we frequently encounter traumas related to the childhood of many individuals with mental disorders. For this reason, children should be born at the time when you, your family and social conditions are most suitable; so that the spiritual needs of the child born can be met.”