Hello my dear readers. In today’s article, I wanted to discuss the issue of anger management with you. Because anger control; It is one of the problems that I encounter frequently in my psychotherapy sessions. Unfortunately, this frequency has increased slightly recently. Of course, I could not remain indifferent to this situation, and I decided to write an article on this subject. I will try to convey my knowledge on this subject to you, my dear readers, as simply as I can, without bogging down on theoretical concepts. I think we should look for an answer to the question of what anger is and what it means before explaining the part where anger occurs and when we encounter problems, our anger is revealed. Because as far as I have observed in my environment, people confuse anger with aggression. For this reason, anger remains in the minds as a negative emotion. However, anger has serious functions. After explaining what is anger, I move on to when anger occurs, and I try to explain and convey this as much as I can. Forgive me in advance if I speak a dwarf language.
What is Anger?
When we look at the word meaning of anger, we come across meanings such as anger, rage, anger or aggression reactions of the individual in response to being hurt, threatened, unfair, blocked or intimidated. Anger; It is an emotion such as joy, joy, love, fear, anxiety, curiosity. Anger is just an emotion. And moreover, it is a very natural feeling that is innate, that is, in our creation. Everyone experiences this emotion, so it is actually a universal emotion. However, there is a difference in the way people experience anger. While some can express it in a beautiful way without causing any harm, others unfortunately can express it by causing a lot of damage to themselves and their surroundings. On the other hand, anger is actually a very healthy and constructive emotion. Of course, if it is expressed without harm, it will be healthy and constructive, otherwise it can turn into a destructive emotion. This destructive feature primarily harms the person himself, then his relatives and people around him.
Anger; It is a temporary feeling, that is, it does not stay on the individual permanently. It is of very short duration. It does not last long and is not permanent. Perhaps the important thing is to overcome this feeling in a healthy way. In other words, it is trying to control it as much as possible, so as not to make the wrong decision during the anger and not to harm another person, especially himself. Because the possibilities of making wrong decisions and making mistakes or causing harm, and engaging in aggressive behavior are slightly higher. Anger is a very powerful source of energy. It is necessary to learn to use this energy in its place. Anger is a controllable emotion. If the individual learns to control anger, it can turn it into a useful, healthy, beneficial and educational emotion. This is not a very remote possibility.
Anger, like other emotions, is not a conscious emotion. What can happen in the moment of anger is definitely the result of the decisions made, the choices made. Why am I saying this; because even in the most unpleasant event that can happen, the other person is immediately blamed. However, this is never the case. The person should try to control his reactions and behaviors during anger. If the person cannot control it; This inability to control is not a shame, but one should definitely get support from a psychologist. Getting support from a psychologist is not a bad thing, even getting support from a psychologist is a very conscious, virtuous and appropriate behavior. Controlling your reactions in anger is something that can be learned and the address is the psychologist’s room as I have emphasized. What is spoken in this room is definitely between the psychologist and the incoming person (client). Confidentiality is essential and strictly protected by the psychologist.
What is the Function of Anger?
Anger is essentially a shield that protects us. What do you think we would do if we didn’t have anger when someone wronged us? Just think about it. What do you think we would do when injustice happened? Wouldn’t we be angry? In such a situation, do we not protect our rights? So, do we not get angry when there is a threat or any danger against us? In such a situation, isn’t our anger actually a distress call? If there was no anger, what do you think we would do at the time of threat? So anger is an emotion and not a bad emotion.
What is the Difference Between Anger and Aggression?
What worsens anger in our eyes is the aggressive behavior experienced after anger. It is the behavior of the individual to harm himself, the addressee or an object. That is aggression. In other words, it is anger turned into action and behavior. To summarize, we can say the following. Anger is an emotion, even in some places it should be. Aggression is not emotion, it is not anger. Aggression is a behavior, that is, an action.
In Which Situations Is Anger An Emotion?
When you feel that there is injustice, that is, when you think that an injustice has been done to you, your right has been defeated, and you think that there is a serious unlawfulness in the incident, your feeling of anger arises.
When we are disappointed. In fact, there are expectations formed in the person under the disappointment. Disappointment occurs when these expectations are not met. This causes anger.
We can become angry when we are faced with situations that we cannot change.
A feeling of anger may arise when advice is given to us even though we do not want or demand it.
It’s one of those times when we get angry when we’re under stress.
We can also feel anger when we think that the situation is not reasonable and fair.
We are a little more likely to experience anger when we attribute to the events we encounter as not fair or acceptable.
When we do not fully express ourselves to the other person, it is one of the times when we get angry.
We can get angry when we feel like we’ve lost any argument we’re in.
When obstacles are placed in front of the goal we are trying to reach, a feeling of anger can occur when we think that we are blocked.
The failure of the expectation formed in our minds can also anger us.
We can also get angry when we think that there is a threat to ourselves, that an attack is about to occur.
We have a very important job ahead of us and we may be angry if a split occurs while we are working on it.
We can also feel anger when we try to control the events, situations and people around us.
If we lose control of the situation, it is likely that we will become angry again.
Anger is more likely to occur when our words or actions are disapproved.
When we come out of an argument defeated, at least when we feel defeated, it may be inevitable that we get angry.