Imago Family Therapy

Marriage; It is the decision of two individuals with different backgrounds, families, educational backgrounds and cultures to spend the rest of their lives together. This brings along some changes in the existing roles of the married individuals.

Imago therapy, Dr. Harville Hendrix and his wife, Dr. It is a theory developed by Helen Hunt. The imago theory and relationship therapy began in the late 1970s with Hendrix’s ” Why do men and women have so many problems in their relationships? ?” emerged as an attempt to find an answer to the question. To this question, Hendrix replied, “ Our tendency to marry individuals similar to the personality traits of our parents, which causes unfinished business in childhood. ” gave the answer. In other words, while we choose our partners in our adult life, we tend to choose spouses similar to our parents in order to complete our childhood problems in adult life. In this way, we try to complete our unsolved problems in the past through our chosen partner. According to imago therapy, marriage is a great chance for people to complete and heal these problems. He emphasizes that marriage goes through three stages in this process.

Romantic love : This is the stage that brings the couples together and allows them to get married or have a relationship. In this phase, couples feel safe with each other, they see themselves as more social, smarter and more affectionate. Under the influence of love, individuals unconsciously believe that they have found their ideal imago partner, that their imago spouse will fulfill their childhood needs, that they will achieve integrity and that they will be able to realize the ideal marriage.

Power struggle: The process that emerges with the end of romantic love is the power struggle. In this phase, couples do not see each other as different individuals, they force each other to think the same. In this case, couples often decide to divorce. However, even if the marriage ends in divorce, divorce is not a solution, as the same cycle will continue in later relationships. Couples who have passed the stage of power struggle go beyond the romantic love bond that allows them to stand by each other’s side in difficult times, creating a strong and natural bond and solving their problems through this bond.

Real love: When individuals realize that they have chosen their spouse to heal their childhood wounds, they take the first step towards true love. At this stage, couples feel unconditional love for each other without any obligation. Couples who reach true love in this secure area are stepping into conscious marriage from the unconscious marriage stage. Conscious marriage is a romantic relationship in which spouses support their psychological and spiritual development by collaborating to fulfill each other’s emotional needs.

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