This sentence belongs to the founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, whose name is familiar to most of us. We all know that we need both energy and experience to achieve clear success in life and keep “if only” to a minimum. Because the best way to learn something is to experience it. Therefore, we assume that older people are more experienced. Of course this is not always true. Because experience is gained experience. In other words, it is not enough just to experience an event, to learn from that event, to know how to approach when faced with similar events again, and to produce practical problem solutions. Even if they are old, there are people who have not gained experience despite having a lot of experience.
Young people always have more energy to take action than an older person, but they do not have as much experience and experience as an adult. Therefore, the efficient use of existing energy is just as difficult. Although adults try to help young people by sharing their own experiences in order to close this gap, this does not seem to yield much. Because I said that the best way to learn is not to listen to life from others, but to experience it. Yes, sometimes these experiences can be very painful, but when you give advice to your children, you start from the painful experiences you have had. If that trouble hadn’t happened to you, if you hadn’t experienced that intensity of emotion, gloom, and struggle, what happened would not have had such a place in your mind. I am not saying that you should not talk to your children and share your experiences. Of course, share your experiences with them, but at least talk to each other about them, imagine what the end of the story would be if you had gone back and taken different paths. In other words, even if you are going to give advice, at least push your children to think and question. You will find that they are a little more impressed and will want to benefit from your experience.
Despite everything, I have a reminder for parents. You want your children not to make the mistakes you have made, so that they take action at the right time and take the right steps. However, if this expectation were true, we would have long since ceased to make mistakes in the 60 thousand years since the emergence of modern humans, and we would have been perfect individuals. We would have long since stopped saying things like “every man makes mistakes” or “one misfortune is better than a thousand advice”.
Parents should talk about their children’s mistakes and mistakes if they want to help their children. They should state that most of the paths we draw in life are the result of choices at our own initiative, and it is within our control to make the choices. Instead of “I told you so” when their child makes a mistake, they should talk about the consequences of that mistake and what they will do next time they encounter a similar situation. The most important thing is to set the right example for your children as much as possible. It may not be very reliable to give advice to your child about the wrong thing while you are doing it wrong.
At the end of the article, I would like to remind you one more time. No matter how hard you try, your children will continue to make mistakes and face the consequences of those mistakes. As parents, try to think “luckily, he learned something new” when your child makes a mistake, instead of being sad because they are upset.