“I don’t want to connect”

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You think that you are compatible with your partner in many ways, you have a good time together, but your relationship cannot achieve the closeness you expect and desire.

Your partner doesn’t like to talk about their feelings, talks about their life and interests, but isn’t very interested in yours. In fact, the lack of interest in the relationship and towards you makes you think that your partner does not like you very much. But he still maintains the relationship. Well then he must have feelings for you.

If your relationship makes you feel and think about the above, it means you are with an “emotionally disabled”.

People who can feel and convey their emotions can feel the appropriate emotion in all their relationships and act according to these emotions. Feeling and conveying emotions is essential in healthy relationships. However, people with emotional disabilities stay away from intimacy in their relationships and do not want to be connected.

Most people with emotional disabilities make you feel good at the beginning of the relationship and think that the relationship can have a future. In the time following this encouraging start, you see that you have not been able to establish a close bond, and you find yourself in a relationship that you meet from time to time and live together.

If you don’t want to find yourself in a relationship with an emotionally disabled person, consider the following indicators.

They don’t like to make plans.

An emotional handicap – big or small – dislikes or even avoids making commitments.

When you suggest spending the next weekend together, he enthusiastically agrees. When it comes to determining the time and place, he says he will look and get back. But it never returns. Or, when that day and hour approaches, you will come across with a valid excuse and you will stay like that.

* They always make the decision.

He chooses what to do when you meet. The activity he chooses is usually an activity that he enjoys or that works for him. It doesn’t really care about what you want to do. If you don’t want to stick to his schedule, he’ll get cranky.

You do almost everything that needs to be done in your relationship.

Do you remember the last time he texted you spontaneously, apart from the messages he wrote in response to your message? Or that he made plans to meet with you without your asking?

As long as you make plans that fit him, he will gladly meet with you. But he won’t be involved in a plan that he doesn’t like or that makes it hard to run.

Unless you’re doing something together, they don’t make much of a noise. It won’t call you. If you send messages about emotional issues related to the relationship, they may ignore your message. “Even though he says he prefers to talk about important issues face to face, that day never comes.

* They avoid using the word “relationship”.

An emotionally disabled person has problems with intimacy, commitment, and commitment. He sees you, spends a few days together from time to time, sees your friends and makes you meet with his friends, but he never introduces you as his lover or partner.

As long as you are together in good times and do not make any demands, you will not have a problem. Whenever you try to form a deeper bond, your emotionally disabled partner pulls back.

Have you heard the phrase “There’s no need to rush, let’s take it slow”? If he says he’s afraid of commitment, listen, hear what he says, don’t ignore it.

* You just can’t get close.

At the beginning of the relationship, he openly expresses his problems and talks about how good your time was, but you see that the relationship does not progress, you cannot get close.

When you’re with a partner who doesn’t get close to you, it can be tempting to try to make things right. You may think that your partner, who has difficulty in getting close, has not found the right person so far and that you will do him good. Because you believe that you are the right person for him, you see the potential of your relationship to be permanent and you try a little more.

If you do not realize that the other person is emotionally disabled, you will try more and more with the possibility of getting closer one day. As you continue to avoid reciprocating your efforts and feelings, you will lose your self-worth to build your relationship until you are emotionally exhausted.

*Either they are late or the plan is cancelled.

He does not keep his promises as an indication of his efforts not to get close, he is always late. He even apologizes for what he did.

He prioritizes his own wants and needs, not the relationship. He does not put the needs of the relationship before his own needs and desires.

* Instead of feeling their own feelings and transferring them to you, they reflect your feelings.

Notice how your partner reacts when you express your feelings. Does he also express how he feels, or does he answer you with “me too”? Of course, not everyone likes to talk about feelings all the time, but being able to connect emotionally is important in a relationship.

If your partner does not express himself despite asking direct questions, you are with someone with an emotional disability.

If your partner, whom you started to be with, has the above characteristics, should you really try to fix it and bring your relationship closer? I say think very carefully. If he has these features, your partner does not prefer this distance because he encounters the wrong people until he meets you. You don’t have a mission to fix it either. Do not chase or catch your partner who tries to keep his distance with you based on the motto of “The one who runs away is chased”. Don’t try to be with someone who is emotionally disabled. You deserve to be cared for, cared for and loved. Choose a partner who deserves you and gives you unconditional love. Be happy.

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