I don’t trust the environment, not you!

“If you let go of my hand on the road, you will fall to the ground or if you let go of my hand, you will be lost” to our 7-year-old child.

“Have a hardworking friend, if you make friends with the lazy, you’ll be just like him”

While our teenage daughter was going somewhere with her friends, she said to her friend “my daughter is entrusted to you”

How often do we use phrases such as “It is not right for you to dress like this, other people’s looks will bother you” to our adolescent child?

How often did children hear such sentences from their parents. The new generation of children often hear from their environment that the environment is full of evil and dangers and that they should not trust anyone. parents! Or you too I don’t trust the environment, not youAre you one of those who say ”?

Some of us may still be confirming this thought.

Of course, the child wants to be acknowledged. The need for approval is with us from the moment we are born and becomes evident with the elementary school period. Then we enter the natural validation process, which is part of development (what we call self-approval). In other words, it’s like admitting that we are skilled in our own inner journey, even if we don’t hear or see “it’s done, you’re great” from anyone…
From an early age, children’s development of good feelings for themselves depends on how they are evaluated by the important people in their lives. Loved by their elders, finding the closeness and attention they expect when they need them, their opinions valued and cared for, trusted and given responsibilities; The self-confidence of the child who is praised for what he does well, proud of and accepted despite all his faults will be high.

In other words, self-confidence means being content with ourselves and as a result, being at peace with ourselves and our environment. Briefly; We can also say that it is the feeling of being able to be loved and able.

So, do we ever do anything wrong while giving our children many positive behaviors and emotions? While we want our children to have self-confidence, can we be adopting attitudes and sanctions that will damage their confidence?

By nature, the child learns the evil before the good. ” says Freud. While the child is struggling with the idea of ​​how to make the dangerous world livable and reliable, we are actually making a trip to our children. Our children want to receive the message “I trust you, you should be able to protect yourself in any negative situation that may happen to you, you should be able to handle it”. ” If you’re doing it wrong, it’s your choice, you have to put up with it‘ he wants to face the answer.
Because taking responsibility for what we do is as important to our children as it is to us. Every responsibility that we impose or may impose on the environment does not add value to our children. In fact, it will not add any added value, and it will cause him to easily get over his mistakes in later ages and not even want to take responsibility for his mistakes.

That’s why our children I trust you, you wouldn’t do anything wrong. If something goes wrong or things don’t go your way, it’s because it’s your choice and preference. You know best and you can take responsibility for your choice. We can express our support for our child in a strong way with the sentence ”. The child will take responsibility for the mistakes and mistakes that he has made or will make with the sense of trust he receives from his family and the desire to be the first person in the decision-making mechanism, and thus he will be brought up as more self-confident and more genuine individuals.

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