Hugging loneliness: social isolation scheme

Being socially isolated as a result of the Covid-19 Coronavirus outbreak has become a savior solution for all of us. Once again, we understood the importance of hugging, touching and being with your loved ones. Although social isolation is a savior for us at the moment, the social isolation scheme can cause many problems under normal conditions. Let’s examine in more detail the social isolation scheme, which can cause difficulties in many areas such as social, academic and working life.

What is Social Isolation?

The basic emotion in individuals with this schema is loneliness. It manifests in two different forms as feeling different from other people or not being desired. An individual with this schema may think that he is being made fun of, that he is socially excluded, or that he is invisible in society. In general, these people use the phrase “I am alone even in crowds”. In business life, situations such as promotions and projects are avoided. In situations where social interactions will take place, “I must not do anything wrong” tension is experienced and in such environments, great efforts are made not to feel inadequate (in terms of physical, mental and emotional skills). In short, a person cannot be like himself in any environment and establishes relationships with very few people.

In fact, there is a part of us that fears social rejection. Because surely there have been times in our lives when we were not accepted. What matters is how traumatic and common such experiences are.

Situations such as traumatic experiences in childhood (being teased for their physical or emotional characteristics), being ostracized by peers, and being different from other families in the family they were born into are effective in the formation of social isolation. The situation of being different in the family can be situations such as religion, race, social status, but also there may be psychological and physiological disorders in the family. Situations related to the child himself include situations such as being with special needs, being gifted, and being more introverted as a personality. The development of the social isolation scheme is not just about negative situations. Situations such as being gifted and being beautiful can also lead to the development of this schema.

Individuals with this schema may choose more socially extroverted people in their emotional relationships and become dependent on these people. Another form of mate selection is choosing partners who prefer to be socially isolated like oneself. In their career choices, they prefer professions where they will communicate less with people.

Everyone has a different way of dealing with their schemas. Some give in to their schemes, while others avoid or try to overcompensate. An individual who surrenders to a social isolation scheme focuses on differences in social groups rather than similarities. He feels outside of that group. While an individual who avoids this schema avoids entering social environments or groups, an individual who chooses the overcompensation method tries to become like them in order to enter social groups.

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