How Should Children Be Given a Sense of Confidence?

What is self-confidence?

Self-confidence is the evaluation of one’s own identity by evaluating external attributions. Our self-confidence is the sum of our beliefs and feelings about our identity and what we can do.

Self-confidence refers to both our belief and feelings that we are satisfied and at peace with ourselves, as well as the appearances and behaviors we give out that we are confident.

When the child is 3-4 years old, he collects ideas about himself. If the incoming stimuli are positive, the child’s self-confidence develops in a positive way. However, if the stimuli are negative, the child will also feel worthless and will begin to believe that he is an incompetent, worthless being. This lays the foundations of an individual with low self-esteem.

What are the factors affecting self-confidence?

The positive relationship between mother and baby forms the basis of self-confidence. Meeting all the needs of the baby, doing them regularly, touching the child and giving love to the mother ensure a special relationship between mother and child.

Self-confidence develops with healthy parent-child communication, appropriate parent and teacher attitudes. A healthy parenting attitude (reassuring, supportive attitude) is the attitude in which the parents are tolerant towards the child, support them, and allow them to make their wishes except for some restrictions. A normal level of tolerance enables the child to become a self-confident and creative individual. In this attitude, the behaviors that are accepted and not accepted at home are clear.

The child has the right to speak. Their feelings and thoughts are respected. Listened by adults. Thus, the child gains self-confidence and learns to bear responsibility.

The mother’s lack of sensitivity and love during infancy, the inconsistency of the relationship between mother and child, and the child’s inability to develop a sense of trust in the mother and the outside world lead to the foundation of an insecure personality.

The child’s self-confidence is also affected by the relationships of family members with each other. Parents’ frequent conflicts and quarrels in the presence of the child cause the child to feel insecure about the continuity of the family.

Parents’ self-confidence levels also affect the child’s self-confidence development.

The child’s self-confidence increases as he knows that he is loved and valuable by his family. However, a child who receives a lot of love but whose talents are not properly accepted may also lack self-confidence.

Self-confidence is an emotion that is easily damaged. Even if there are positive experiences in the first childhood years, self-confidence problems may arise as a result of later inappropriate experiences.

Pressured, authoritarian and overprotective parental attitudes prevent the development of self-confidence. Love is presented in an overly giving and protective behavior. Although the child is treated like a baby, many are expected from him. Nothing is spared; private lessons are taken, various opportunities are provided. On the other hand, a high level of success is expected from the child. Since this expectation is presented with love, it is easily adopted by children and digested by the self.

Lack of self-confidence causes failure in school and other areas of life.

A lack of self-confidence makes individuals fragile and vulnerable, causing them to perceive the world as a place full of difficulties and dangers.

Children who have positive thoughts about themselves can cope with the conflicts they encounter more easily and their problem-solving skills are more developed. For children with low self-esteem, new situations they encounter can cause anxiety and frustration.

What are the symptoms of a lack of self-confidence?

  • Difficulty in emotional, social and academic issues,

  • Showing shy or bullying behaviors at school,

  • Being emotionally overly fragile and sensitive

  • Being closed to new experiences

  • shyness and introversion,

  • clinging to parents

  • Always trying to make people happy,

  • Frequently asking for help

  • Don’t give up too soon

  • talk negatively about yourself

What can be done to improve self-confidence?

  • Unconditional love must be given.

  • The child should be made to feel important and valuable.

  • The child should be approved, encouraged and supported.

  • A positive and democratic family environment should be provided.

  • A stable, consistent and supportive parent attitude should be displayed.

  • Family members should interact positively with each other.

  • Parents should not have excessive expectations about academic performance.

  • The child should be given responsibilities in line with his age and skills (such as helping to collect toys, set and remove the table)

  • Parents should not be overprotective.

  • Misperceptions about the child should be corrected.

  • Children should be directed to group work rather than individual activities, to activities with their peers.

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