Although we perceive the feeling of anger as a negative emotion, anger; It is a basic, normal, indispensable emotion just like our other emotions. Contrary to the widespread belief that anger is harmful, it is not the feeling of anger that is harmful, but the way it is reflected. Our emotions serve a purpose and give meaning to life. Anger is a warning sign, it warns us of threats and allows us to protect ourselves. We all feel anger in different situations, at different levels, in different forms. Anger is an emotional state that can be felt with varying intensity from mild anger to severe anger and rage (Spielberger, 2003). Anger can be triggered by both external and internal factors. It can be related to a specific person or an event, or it can be caused by general personal problems. Some people may be more angry than others. Memories, traumatic events or events that revive the trauma can also activate feelings of anger (Bilgin 2000, Morgan 1999). One reason people experience anger may be genetic or physiological. There is evidence that children are born with moody, irritable and irritable features and that these signs have been present since very early ages (Kökdemir 2004). One of the factors leading to anger may be sociocultural. Anger is often perceived negatively; individuals are taught that expressing anxiety, depression, and other emotions is normal, while expressing anger is not. Therefore, he is not taught how to deal with anger or how to show it in constructive ways. Studies have shown that family life also plays a role. Accordingly, it has been reported that people who get angry easily come from families that are typically destructive, chaotic and have poor emotional communication (Turkish Psychology Bulletin 1999). It occurs when our expectations are not met, when we are exposed to injustice, injustice, when we are threatened, when we are blocked. When we do not suppress the emotion of anger and express it, we experience a healthy anger.
Sometimes we lose control and alarm bells start to ring. Losing control at home, at school, in traffic, at work; We may show intense anger, aggression, and violence towards our family, children, friends, and loved ones, and this may damage our relationships, reduce people’s tolerance towards us, and cause us to be alone, and reduce the enjoyment and quality of life. We hurt ourselves just as much as we hurt others. This is where anger emerges as our secondary emotion. When we consider anger as the “visible and invisible part of the iceberg”, anger is the tip of the iceberg, but in fact, there are various emotions such as disappointment, anxiety, injustice, worthlessness, dislike, jealousy, fear, and shame. When we ignore, reject, suppress, and ignore these underlying emotions, these emotions turn into anger after a while to protect ourselves and mask our weaknesses as a defense mechanism.
If we know how to listen, our body informs us that we are angry, it warns us physically; breathing becomes more frequent, heartbeat accelerates, blood pressure rises, our brows are furrowed. Research has shown that suppressing our anger can also lead to various psychological disorders such as anxiety, depression, and stress disorder. Anger that is not expressed returns to the person and can disrupt interpersonal relationships, as well as cause mental and physical problems such as headaches, stomach ailments, respiratory problems, skin problems, nervous system disorders, insomnia.
Gaining the skill of expressing anger correctly is called “anger control”. The main purpose in anger control; It is the ability to express one’s feelings in a way that is free from aggression, non-violent, and does not harm oneself and those around them (Kökdemir, 2003). There are several ways to deal with our anger:
1-Expressing: Expressing our anger in a safe way before it turns into aggressiveness is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, become aware of what you want and feel, and without harming others, communicate what our needs are and learn how to meet them.
2- Find the Source of Your Anger: Remember that you can experience your anger as a secondary emotion and try to find out what the situation you are experiencing “really” makes you feel.
3-Try New Communication Methods: Sen language is accusatory; I empathize language. An accusatory and accusatory discourse cuts off communication at the very beginning and blocks all solutions. (Boz, 2003). For example; You are doing so wrong in this job/ I think these actions make people very uncomfortable.
4-Don’t Suppress Your Emotions: If you keep your anger inside, try not to think about it, and direct your attention to different things, you are using suppression. While this sometimes works, it is not very healthy to choose this path all the time. If anger is not expressed correctly, anger turns to the person and causes various discomforts.
5-Try Calming Ways: Breathing exercises, relaxation exercises, yoga and meditation are very effective methods to calm down.
6-Get Support from a Specialist: Get support from a specialist: If you often feel angry, angry, angry in daily life, if your anger response to events is intense and if the expression of anger is harmful to you or your environment, you can consult a psychologist or psychiatrist.