Emma was 8 years old. He didn’t enjoy going to school very much and was making his mother very tired every morning when he got out of bed.
-Mom, so that I can sleep a little more, she sometimes missed the service time and sometimes she was forced to come to the service.
And the homework brought home after school was more of a nightmare for Emre than for his mother. Finding a lot of homework given by the teacher, Emre completed some of them under the pressure of his mother, and wanted his mother to complete the rest. Despite his mother’s disapproval, Emre thought “My mother will do my homework anyway” and didn’t worry about her homework too much.
How does the child think?
Responsibility does not start with homework. For the awareness of homework, first of all, a sense of responsibility is necessary. Most parents think that duties and responsibilities start with school life and act accordingly. However, it should not be forgotten that when the child turns 3, he enters a process where he can clearly understand and apply the rules. And as the age progresses, the rules are determined according to age. The younger age group should be given younger responsibilities, and the older age group should be given greater responsibilities. For preschool children;
– When you distribute your toys, you will collect them.
– When it’s time to sleep, you will go to bed.
– When we go to the market, you have one choice.
– When we go to the park, we will go back home when our time is up.
– It’s your job to put the bread on the table at dinner. Planned and consistent rules, etc., form the basis of responsibility.
In the story, Emre is a child who doesn’t get up on time in the mornings and avoids completing his homework and throws this task on his mother.
According to Emre, the teacher gives too much homework and therefore does not like doing homework. It has become a learned behavior for the child to do some of the homework with his mother and his mother to complete the rest. That’s why Emre thinks “Doing homework is not only my duty, but also my mother’s duty”.
This way of thinking paves the way for Emre to turn into an adult who has difficulties in completing the task assigned alone in his later life and has self-confidence problems.
Every child who grows up in an environment where there are no rules or it is difficult to apply the rules, continues his existence by having wrong thoughts and this situation affects his whole life negatively.
However, children who grow up in a world where there are rules, place intellectual, emotional and cultural values and knowledge in their memory. This is a critical and important acquisition in terms of personality development.
What can you do?
• Where there is chaos, there are no rules. If you don’t want chaos in your home, set your boundaries clearly.
• After you set your limits, ask yourself how determined and consistent you can be. If you have any doubts at this point, try starting small.
• What could these little steps be? Give your child small tasks first, rather than having them do homework. Each individual must fulfill his own responsibility. If parents have duties as parents, the child also has duties as individuals. Just as we make our beds and rooms, take a shower, prepare our meals when we become adults, this order should start in our childhood, not when we grow up. Remember, the greatest harm will begin at the point where you can’t stand your child.
• Regardless of your child’s age, do not think that you are late. Every individual who is not an adult is a dough ready to be kneaded. Only the younger he is, the more the values you will add and gain will enrich him.
• In addition, the contribution of homework to children’s lives is about 1-2%. This small ratio causes deep damage to the child’s seeing you as a teacher and moving away from your identity as a mother. Let everyone do their own thing. Let a mother be a mother, and a teacher is a teacher. Just as you cannot say to your child’s teacher with your mother identity, ‘Be my son’s mother for today’, so your teacher identity can say to the mother, ‘Be a teacher for me today. Teach your children these and complete their homework. This role confusion causes you to have communication problems with the child, be careful.