Happiness and psychology

HAPPINESS

‘I didn’t know it was the happiest moment of my life’

Museum of Innocence

Orhan Pamuk’s Museum of Innocence begins with this sentence. It tells of a love, hopeless, sad and obsessive. because I think love itself is an obsession, but let’s call it a pleasant obsession, because the hero is not unhappy at all in the novel.

Philosophers have seen happiness as the highest and ultimate driver of human actions. Throughout history, there have been many views put forward by thinkers about how a happy life should be. According to Aristotle, what leads to happiness and peace is to lead a virtuous life. Happiness is the purpose of human life and all people seek happiness. Psychologists, on the other hand, mostly thought that people were insatiable and unhappy. Positive life situations and emotional forms were either not emphasized at all or it was assumed that positive emotions are features that occur spontaneously in the absence of negative emotions. A positive thing is already positive, that is, it is trouble-free.

We are pleasure-oriented by nature, we always want to be happy. This pleasure-oriented being determines where we are in our fight with life and how we live, and even how we die.

We want to be happy, to reach all our aspirations completely and continuously. Is this possible? Psychoanalysts say that the heaven we lost is in the womb. We were thrown to Earth.

A person tries to complete his life with this sadness, in fact he can never complete it, something is always missing. Maybe that’s why we fall in love and try to complete our missing part. Our hero in the Museum of Innocence must have tried to satisfy his desire to complete this deficiency throughout the novel.

How will we be happy then, when you look at it this way, it doesn’t seem very possible.

You can be happy one moment and unhappy the next. Scientists explain this situation physiologically; It takes about 500 milliseconds for consciousness to interpret an event or situation. This means that it takes time even for us to realize that we are happy. For this reason, what is well remembered is always the past,’ what a good day ‘ we remember the past. Can happiness be something that is remembered rather than experienced? This interpretation should also support Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman’s view of defining the present better in the future. We form the present in the future.

Although happiness can be something that is remembered, not experienced, can being happy also be a matter of capacity?

Definitely!

Happiness or unhappiness is mostly about what you prefer. Dissatisfaction with the situation we are in can also be a way to improve ourselves.

People are born with an innate optimistic mechanism. In order for this mechanism to work, we need to develop skills over time. The negativities that your life brings to you change depending on how you welcome them.

In studies on what makes people happy, ‘Socialism and being accepted’ are at the top. When asked what makes them unhappy, the answer is ‘to be judged’.

If people are happy when they are accepted by others, isn’t self-acceptance important too?

In studies investigating whether there is a relationship between personality traits and feeling happy; Being extroverted and optimistic was found to be associated with being happy, and it was determined that people with neurotic (tense, restless) characteristics felt unhappy very easily.

Most people accept themselves under certain conditions; She is successful, has the approval of important people, is beautiful, or has a lot of money. You feel worthless, useless when you cannot fulfill the conditions that you have decided you must fulfill for your self. Why? Because you define your self-worth by circumstances. Who can be 100 percent good or bad? No one can be worthy or worthless all the time. When we rate our personality, we hinder ourselves and enter into expectations. Rather than saying ‘I’m fine, I’m happy’, it’s better to approach ‘situations that make me feel good or things that make me happy’. In other words; ‘I am alive and enjoying now, how can I manage to live a happy life without making a holistic assessment of my personality and realizing what I can learn from the pain’You can choose to say

We will not be able to achieve everything we want, people who develop the ability to endure it can be happier in their lives.

At the end of the Museum of Innocence, Kemal has collected thousands of items belonging to his lover Füsun, 4213 of which are butts from Füsun’s cigarettes.

In your last sentence, Kemal said, “Everybody should know, I’ve had a very happy life. says..

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