Imagine walking out of an unsuccessful job interview. You wanted the job very much, you prepared well for the interview, but when you left the interview with the answer “Sorry, you are not the person we are looking for”, you left the interview sad and disappointed. While you were in these sad feelings, you began to question why it didn’t happen, what you did wrong, and to remember similar experiences you had in the past. It was always like this, no one was accepting you, you couldn’t even get a job, you would never find a job, what did you do wrong… When faced with an experience that made us unhappy, the mind tries to get rid of the moment it is in and the feelings that make us feel bad, but this effort usually makes us feel worse. also brings it into the problem. Repetitive negative thought patterns can affect the moment we live in, lowering our mood even more, revealing feelings of anxiety and worry.
Often we focus on our flaws and weaknesses to understand why things are not going the way we want, and we try to control our experiences and feelings, assuming that if things don’t change, we will face similar things in the future. For this reason, the thoughts we have in order to find our way out of unhappiness can intensify and prolong the sad mood we are in.
Why Do We Get Stuck in a Struggle We Can’t Win?
In order to solve a problem or get our daily work done quickly, our minds make predictions about the next steps. For example, we get up in the morning, wash our face, brush our teeth, then change, and we don’t have to think much to do these things. We are on autopilot, as we plan our daily routine work quickly and take action automatically. Although spending the day on autopilot saves us time, it can cause us to miss the present moment and cause our minds to fly between the past and the future. We are in the mode of doing rather than being in the moment. For example, you missed the turn you should take on the way. Your mind goes back to “I should have taken the previous turn!” he thinks, then “which way should I go next?” He makes a plan for the next step by thinking. Then he acts according to this plan, follows the path he designed and reaches the desired place. Mission accomplished!
7 Key Features of Making Mode
1) Occurs in an automatic sequence.
2) While busy with a job, various ideas and thoughts circulate in the mind.
3) The mind oscillates between the past and the future.
4) The mind is preoccupied with repetitive thoughts about the event that is undesirable and wanted to be avoided.
5) He wishes many things in his life to be different from what they are and often focuses on the distance between where he is and where he wants to be.
6) Evaluates thoughts as if they are real.
7) It is goal-oriented. He strives to reach the goal until he reaches the desired goal or until he feels too tired to continue. In the Doing mode, the person can be quite critical and challenging towards himself in line with his expectations.
What can we do?
1) By learning to recognize when we are in the mode of doing and our repetitive thoughts, we can try to understand the content and source of these thoughts.
2) When we experience feelings of sadness, sadness, or other unpleasantness, we can subtly respond to uncomfortable feelings by going into the mode of being in the moment.
It is possible to get rid of all our problems caused by living in the mode of doing, by switching to another mind mode. We just need to learn how to shift our minds.
So what could be an alternative to the make mode?
To Do or To Exist?
The mode of being, as well as the mode of doing, is the state of doing the actions we do consciously and deliberately, rather than living on autopilot in daily life. It means moving forward with conscious choices, feeling in the moment, from preparing coffee to the exercises we do in our lives. The mode of being is actually being in life, not being dragged in the current while life is flowing and flowing with it. Being in the moment also brings freshness to our perceptions. It allows us to be aware of what is going on both within ourselves and around us and to feel more alive. In the mode of existence, getting rid of the thoughts in our minds and experiencing what is happening through our body and senses increases the objectivity of our perceptions. We gain this impartiality by approaching all of our pleasant or disturbing lives, without judging or labeling them, with curiosity and interest, like a researcher.
Even if you think your life is mostly in do-do mode, don’t worry! The good news is that achieving this awareness is actually the first step towards living a fuller life. If we determine in which areas of our lives the mode of doing is dominant, we can switch to the mode of existence and get away from the worries that are swirling in our minds.