One of the situations that cause discomfort in human psychology is undoubtedly the incompatibility in interpersonal relationships. These incompatibilities, which cause ‘arrest’ in human relations, can result in serious depressions in the inner world of the person over time.
Regardless of their nature, these incompatibilities, especially in bilateral relations, create serious ‘psychological pressure’ for both parties. Whether these inconsistencies are based on a just cause or based on misunderstanding, they appear as a burden that people are condemned to carry.
As a result of the deterioration of interpersonal relations, feelings of hostility such as ‘anger’, ‘hatred’, ‘hatred’ develop in the person. Let’s take a break to think here: What are the situations in which our relationships as human beings deteriorate and as a result, feelings that create a ‘heaviness’ in our souls accumulate? In response, we can say the following: Often times when we “blame the other person” (with good reason or misunderstanding), “feel that he is hindering us”, “insulting us”, “despising us”…
However, whatever the reason may be, these negative emotions ‘burn’ us first and harm us. It causes pressure in our psychological world and because of the person we feel anger, the level of sincerity of our interpersonal relations decreases and sometimes causes ‘social arrest’.
While we need to create against negative emotions such as anger, grudge and hatred that deeply affect our social and psychological lives, the best strategy is “hold forgiveness, command kindness and turn away from the ignorant!” It is to listen to the divine address. To forgive, to be forgiving, to be able to forgive… I think almost everyone knows from experience that to truly forgive one’s interlocutor means to first set one’s own soul free.
It is more or less clear that ‘not forgiving’ is actually not giving the person the right to make a mistake. Because people who have feelings of anger, grudge and hatred often have internal conversations with themselves like this: “How can he treat me like this?” “Who got the right to act like that?” “He is smug! His nose is in the air!…” “How can he humiliate me!” “She doesn’t love me at all, she excludes me.” Similar negative thoughts keep flowing through one’s mind. Naturally, these thoughts will create negative emotions, and negative emotions will trigger negative behaviors towards that person. Our interlocutor, who sees himself being treated in a negative way (angry, passive-aggressive/sincere, cold), will most likely respond to us in a way that reinforces our feelings and thoughts. As a result, it is a vicious circle. Our negative emotions that we condemn ourselves to carry within us and their consequences reflected in our psychological world… However, most of the time, our interlocutor is not even aware of the fact that we show a great example of virtue (!) by ‘not reflecting our anger on our interlocutor but harboring it inside us’. ‘The rabbit was angry with the mountain, and the mountain didn’t even know about it.’
In such a case, there is another side of the matter; While other emotions and thoughts pass inside us, our outside is seen in a completely different way… In other words, we make ourselves experience unconscious conflicts caused by not being able to bring our insides and outsides together on a line.
However, the way of forgiveness, which is the safest way, is before us with all its charm. If we can accept for a moment that our interlocutor can make mistakes, that he is not obliged to treat us as we want, and that he is not aware of many things he does, then we will have the pleasure of freeing our soul and his soul.
The emotions that prevent us from looking wholeheartedly into the eyes of the people we are angry with disappear when we forgive our interlocutor. That is why the brightest sword in the hand of anyone who thinks about protecting his/her own psychological world and social life is ‘forgiveness’. That is, he can forgive his interlocutor…