Forbidden Love

A love story out of date

This story was written by Halit Ziya Uşaklıgil almost a century ago; It is a masterpiece that defies all times, coming from the dusty pages of history, which bravely tells about love, passion, lust and the burden of conscience that comes with it with the most sincere words.

The novel begins with the life story of Firdevs Hanım, a member of the Melih Bey Team, who is fond of showing off. Mrs. Firdevs got married at the age of 18, she is quite floppy, a show and fun-loving person, who likes to be mentioned and admired all the time. (status seeking scheme)His marriage is just a way he chose to meet his economic needs. (opportunistic mode) . As soon as she entered the door of the mansion she came to as a bride, she became the owner of the mansion. In fact, his wife took the title ‘wife of Firdevs lady’. However, after the marriage, she experienced a great disaster and became pregnant with her first daughter. When motherhood was not in her dough, her second daughter was born after three years. The responsibility of children and marriage has caused her to fight a lot to stay young and beautiful. .He never loved his daughters because they wore out their youth and beauty, and even saw them as two enemies. (fault scheme – punitive scheme, scheme delivery) . Life flows for him somewhere outside the house. (freedom fighter mod) . His wife, who was not involved in the entertainment life, faced her infidelities when Bihter found the box she kept her secrets in when she was only 5 years old, and her heart could not stand this reality and had a heart attack. If Mrs. Firdevs thought that she sincerely caused her husband’s death, (punitive parent mode)The newly rich husband could not help himself from the hunt. (status seeking scheme) . As time passes so fast, she has reached the age of 45, her daughters have grown and flourished. Now, in the hunt for a husband, his daughters have become his rivals. While this slammed the cruelty of the past years in his face, he envied the youth and beauty of his daughters. (defective, punitive scheme) Peyker was the first to leave this race. He chose love and married Nihat, who has a low economic income. As a result of this marriage, Mrs. Firdevs received news of another great disaster: Grandchildren! This is proof of his aging. (fault chart) The earthquake inside him was revealed by the magnificent Adnan Bey, who is a member of an elite family of 50-odd years old. While he thought that Adnan Bey had an interest in him, and that he had let someone down on the hunt for a rich husband, Adnan Bey’s interest shifted to his only young daughter, Bihter. When Firdevs learned of this situation, she faced a great destruction. (Firdevs, who always wanted to be the center of attention and the best, experienced great sadness when she felt that her grandiose side was frustrated: hurt child mode)

Adnan Bey, on the other hand, was almost fascinated by the effect of Bihter’s spring freshness, and although he was younger than him, he could not keep himself from her. Her stylish and gorgeous look made her pass out. (status seeking scheme) . And since Bihter doesn’t know what love is, she was fascinated by the advantages of being the lady of the biggest mansion in the Bosphorus in the face of Adnan Bey’s magnificence, and she longed not knowing that she would bring her own end to this marriage. (status seeking scheme) . While Adnan Bey’s mansion was dazzling with its splendor, Bihter was also given the duty of motherhood. Bihter, who is also a candidate for the motherhood of Nihal and Bülent, has established a very turbulent relationship with Nihal, who is 8 years younger than her. At first, he brought elegance and elegance to this house; he even tried hard to win Nihal’s heart. In fact, she played her role so well that Nihal, who looks like a delicate flower with a noble spirit and fragile, was closer to Bihter than her father for the first year and built insurmountable walls between her and her father. (Nihal is angry with his father: angry boy mod). However, at the end of the first year, things got out of hand. It infuriates him to see that he is slowly taking everything he owns from Bihter’s hand. First of all, his only father… then his most precious human brother… Both of them are very happy with Bihter. (feels abandoned by loved ones. Abandonment schema, angry-impulsive child mode ) For Nihal, who also pulled back with the feelings of adolescence, Bihter became a substitute for her mother. She doesn’t want him anymore. Neither him nor Melih Bey’s team who entered their lives with him! Mademoiselle, to whom Nihal took refuge and poured out her heart during this process, is the only person who protects her, watches over her and is always by her side. However, Nihal is afraid that one day she will join Bihter and leave her. (abandonment scheme)

An important name of the household is Behlül. Behlül, whose father is a civil servant, lives in the house of his uncle Adnan Bey as one of the household members. He is a fun-loving and romantic relationship man who uses all the possibilities of Adnan Bey. (detached avant-garde mode) . Her biggest dream is to create bunches of flowers she added to her garden of love, to decorate all the edges of her room with souvenir flowers, and to put an immaculate lily, which represents chastity, whiteness and cleanliness, in the middle of all these flowers at the end of the day. (high standards chart) These sentences are the summary of Behlül’s life. Behlül, who likes to play brave love games, praised his aunt’s only brother with the impulse of these thoughts and feelings in the 1st anniversary celebration of the marriage of his beloved uncle and his elegant and magnificent aunt.( In abandonment scheme submission, the person is so sure of abandonment that he chooses partners he cannot stay in a relationship with.) However, Peyker is an honorable woman who is married and has children. Peyker made a move to send Behlül to his mother to keep him away. Behlül, who has a place for every flower in her garden, started a pleasant conversation with Ms. Firdevs, and even created a temporary youth elixir effect on Ms. Firdevs. Bihter is the only person who witnessed all these attitudes of Behlül.

Bihter is very tired at the end of this day lived. Behlül’s behavior during the day made him realize an important need that he did not want to see. Bihter immediately went to her room that night, felt the lust, passion and love hunger in her relationship, and her insides were on fire. She has been feeling this feeling that makes her feel alone since the beginning of her marriage. For him, his wife is like a monster that ‘smashes and kills its prey. Every time his wife touches his body, he starts to feel cold and even trembling, being with his wife now makes him sick and it makes him feel that his love is stolen every time. (psychosomatic mode) . Although she loves her husband as a human being, she resists not fulfilling her womanly duties, and even dreams of escaping, melting or even dying when she cannot resist. (the feelings she experienced when she surrendered to her husband against her will: detached sheltered mode).Even if he is the master of speech in the lean that he dreams of, he cannot feel himself belong here with the lack of not having the spirit of the lean. (feeling of not belonging to the host: social isolation scheme schema submission) . In this whole process, stepmotherhood at a young age began to be a burden to her. He loves Nihal, but he is sure that he will not be loved no matter what he does. (belief in being unloved: emotional deprivation schema) . Although he tried hard to reach her, he could not reach Nihal through the protection ring created by the behavior of the household as if he was an unwanted person. (thinking undesirable by people: flaw schema, schema submission) . But his relationship with Bülent is not like that, they have common points such as laughing with him. And she feels loved by him too. As time passed, Nihal started to become the biggest problem in this house for Bihter. Nihal’s ups and downs are the cause of the disasters caused by her weak nerves and she doesn’t want her household to blame her. That’s why he always felt he had to be cautious. (manipulative mode) . Seeing lust and passion in Behlül’s behavior towards Peyker turned into an agonizing sadness of not being able to have these feelings. (his sadness when he feels his needs will never be fulfilled: hurt child mode) . Although Bihter could not even admit it to herself, she was wildly desired by someone like Behlül and wanted to reach the pleasure of lust and passion. Although her womanly desires are not satisfied, she will not be like her mother and will not be unfaithful to her husband! (Demanding parent who says she shouldn’t cheat on her husband like her mother – conflict of impulsive child mode who wants to be attracted to love, passion, lust)

However, one day, with all these mental exhaustion, he found himself in Behlül’s room with the effect of his thirst for love and insatiable sexual urges. (impulsive kid mode) . Maybe it was the jealousy that gave him this courage as a result of Behlül’s approach to Peyker and his mother, Firdevs Hanım. Maybe it was her youth and beauty fading in unhappiness. He went there once. One is fire and the other is gunpowder! As long as they could stand side by side, they could control themselves, but at the end of the day, a Bihter who was burning with guilt came out of the room. (punishing himself for his mistake, feeling guilty; punishment scheme – punishing parent mode) . He had done what he did not want to do and was attracted to Behlül. While she didn’t want to be like her mother, she suddenly started doing what her mother did. Those passionate moments he lived had now turned into inner voices in his mind saying that his body and soul were polluted. (thinking that his body and soul are contaminated: imperfection scheme) . And to the unbearable pain of his infidelity to Adnan Bey… He was always on the alert. He thought everyone knew about this ugliness, was talking behind his back. (scheme of skepticism) . He believed that only if this dirt was cleaned with an innocent love, then he would be freed from his sin. The state of pollution that he couldn’t get out of it lasted until he got close to Behlül again. At the end of the meetings that became more frequent, his heart was now beating for Behlül, just like his body. And he started to risk everything to keep this passionate love alive.

As for Behlül, he had never experienced a passion or excitement like this before in his life. Bihter had completely blown his mind. He loved his uncle just as he loved him, but he was also sure that he would one day be deceived by such a young and beautiful woman. “Why shouldn’t I be this lucky person?” (justification scheme) he thought, easing his conscience. The fact that she was in a love that was in front of everyone and that no one knew about, caused excitement in all her veins. He was hugging Bihter passionately, saying, “If everyone finds out, we’ll get out of here.” Bihter believed that they had an eternal love. He could take any risk, even death, for this love. For the first time, he felt alive, happy. He was running to Behlül fearlessly with the flavor that love gave to his soul. Behlül had stayed in her room and waited for a season for Bihter to come to her, but she felt used when Bihter came whenever she wanted and took what she wanted. (The skepticism scheme to believe that it is used by Bihter ). It had taken over his soul as well as his body, he had nothing left to give him anymore, he had become ordinary. He gradually broke away from it, too, and began to seek happiness and excitement in the outside life ( Having reasons to deceive Bihter is a narcissistic defense that emerges under the influence of the justification scheme) . As Bihter entered the role of a woman who suffered the pain of being deceived and condoned, Behlül was moving away from her. (Bihter also punishes her for allowing her deceptions: punitive scheme) . Just in this process, Ms. Firdevs noticed this forbidden love and began to offer things to tempt Behlül to marry Nihal. Behlül, like the rest of the household, laughed at his passing; She couldn’t help but wonder if it was Nihal or that flower of love that could not be found. He, too, will be the only source of healing for his soul; she had decided that the innocent, delicate, virgin lily was Nihal. Now all his effort was to convince Nihal of this marriage. (Behlül believed that he should have the most beautiful things: high standards – the scheme of righteousness: manipulative mode).

The idea of ​​this marriage infuriated Bihter. “Oh, so you finally confess, it’s all over, you don’t even need to deceive me anymore, do you? But this marriage is not going to happen, you understand? Everything yes everything even Kette… see I even know her name yes, even Kette, not only Nihal, or this marriage will not happen… this man who cheated on you was cheating on me too until this moment. He cannot be a husband to you.”

while threatening Behlül with his words ( Bihter wanted to punish Behlül by threatening her after she was hurt by the effect of the abandonment scheme: punitive scheme)Behlül waited motionlessly for Bihter to leave. (vital immobility: surrender) . Bihter felt great pain because she believed this lie, for which she risked her life. In any case, this marriage should have been prevented. He couldn’t bear that they would make love in front of them. His last resort was his mother. Just as he had brought up the idea of ​​marriage, now he had to block it. She was openly telling her situation and even threatening to confess everything to her husband. (Punishment scheme) . Mrs. Firdevs was aware of all this. She was definitely not protecting Bihter in this move of hers. He even did it out of animosity for having feelings that he couldn’t have. (Firdevs lady wanted to take away Bihter’s happiness by manipulative ways: manipulative mode) . No matter what, he wouldn’t back down (Righteousness scheme- Mindful mode).

Behlül, on the other hand, did not want anything other than to win Nihal’s love, he did not think. He was the only cure for his soul. She needed his love and attention to save her soul from the pain she was going through. However, by camouflaging his neediness, he was expressing that he needed her and his love. (The grandiose mode is a narcissistic defense) . Nihal’s fragile soul needed love. He felt alone in this life. (abandonment and emotional deprivation schema schema submission). He needed to hear such words. He surrendered to Behlül’s words and said ‘yes’ to him. Moreover, he had loved her for a long time, although he had a hard time admitting it. Behlül’s arrival brought spring to Nihal’s soul. He was happy, most importantly, he was no longer alone. The next morning, Behlül was going to say goodbye to him and return to Büyükada and Istanbul, when a piece of paper with Firdevs Hanım’s writing fell out of his pocket while saying goodbye. Nihal, succumbing to her curiosity, read the paper she was holding. But he couldn’t understand or make sense of what was written. What did this paper mean, what did Firdevs call for in the evening? Something started to come to life in his mind. Or was it for Behlül and Bihter? With this suspicion, he immediately wanted to go to Istanbul to the mansion. (scheme of skepticism) . He had come to the mansion with all his fears and doubts! He heard the words he never wanted to hear from Behlül and Bihter’s mouth. Saddened by being right, his weak nerves were not enough to sustain him, the words he had heard caused him to have a nervous breakdown. (somatic symptoms of surrender to pain) . Behlül, who saw Nihal in this state, was completely stunned because he understood everything. Not knowing what to do, he found the solution to run away. (where we protect ourselves by running away from the problem: detached avungan mode) . Adnan Bey ran to his daughter, who had a seizure, and took her to his own room. He was experienced in the face of such situations as he had experienced it before. But what had happened so that Nihal had become this way? Bashir told him the answer to all these one by one. With the pain of knowing the truth, Adnan Bey started to look for Bihter. Bihter felt what was going to happen and Adnan Bey ran to get the gun. Although he felt the joy of life given by youth and beauty, the arrow was now out of the bow, he could not think clearly. She felt that she could not bear the fact that she was the woman who cheated on her husband in the eyes of others, she dreamed of death… She had decided that she would end her life. He aimed the gun at his heart, where he felt both love and pain, and pulled the trigger as if he wanted to end all the pain he had been through. (Bihter punished both herself and those who caused it with death. Punitive scheme- punitive parent mode) . He left this mansion, leaving all his experiences behind… As if he had never lived in this mansion… Konaksa returned to its former joy with its former employees as if nothing had happened…

Even though Bihter and Behlül are madly attracted to each other with their sexual desires, we see the chemistry revealed by the abandonment and emotional deprivation schemes that both of them brought from their past lives.

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