The institution of marriage is the coming together of people of two different sexes who do not have a marriage barrier for the purpose of establishing a family. It is known that marriage aims to satisfy psychological and social needs. In our country, the choice of spouse is realized by the choice of the partner who meets the expectations and wishes of the individual, usually by his own decision or by the family elders and our social circle, which is called an arranged method. It is important for the continuity of the marriage to know our partner well and to make correct assessments during the pre-marriage period. The basic rule of establishing a healthy family is that individuals get to know themselves well, as well as knowing each other.
There may be differences between the person we create in our minds in our spouse choices and the person we are with in reality. There are many reasons that force couples in marriage and even bring the end of the marriage. Among these, severe incompatibility is a common situation. The inability of couples to adequately meet each other’s emotional needs, decreased expectations about marriage, communication problems, words and behaviors that can be defined as violence, not supporting each other when socially or individually needed, disrespectful and distrustful behaviors can be shown as examples of severe incompatibility.
For the happy marriage, what Gottman calls the relationship-damaging Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse criticism, contempt, self-defense, building a wallWe must stay away from their attitudes.
In marriage, couples should not ignore each other’s emotional needs. Discover the impact of communication by showing genuine interest in your partner, saying nice words, hugging, making eye contact and expressing affirmation.
Accept your partner as they are and respect their tastes and choices without trying to change them.
Take care to be understanding. Show your empathy skills. ‘You definitely shouldn’t have done that.’ ‘You are guilty.’ Avoid expressions. ‘I understand how you feel.’ give your message.
Show the ‘we’ attitude. Support your partner by believing in the power of family solidarity.
Remember that your partner needs you, talk about possible situations rather than moralizing.
Remember that in some situations just being a good listener can be very beneficial for your relationship.
Take care to point out minor issues. Do not forget that the accumulated problems will become more unsolvable in the future.
Despite all this, if the problems in your marriage have become insurmountable, you can get support from a specialist to repair and improve your marriage.