Feeling of Unworthiness

The feeling of lack in humans is an impulse that is necessary for the development of the individual. But we often deny this impulse and develop a kind of defense mechanism. Because we think that this feeling (feeling of lack) is a feeling that is not accepted in society. Sometimes we confuse the concept of lack with the feeling of worthlessness, or we think that these two concepts are the same thing. The feeling of worthlessness is the perception of oneself as a worthless being than other people, and the origin of this situation goes back to childhood experiences. In particular, the fact that parents do not value the individual as a child, taking away their rights or restricting those rights causes the individual to feel worthless. What is meant by the concept of value here is to truly value the person in front of us, to try to understand him truly and to accept him as he is. When people can value themselves, they start to value others, that is, the people around them. Neither glorifying and humiliating ourselves is valuing the other person, nor is it valuing ourselves to exalt ourselves and belittle others.

Individuals who experience the feeling of worthlessness always see the people in front of them as much better, successful and superior than themselves. They put those people very high in their minds. From time to time, they may harbor an inner jealousy towards these people. Because as soon as they see that they do not have those superior values ​​that they see in them, they may remember their own inadequacies and become jealous, or they may harbor an unconscious hostility in the future. Sometimes, they can put these people, whom they glorified in their minds, into the worthless cluster they have created in their minds at the slightest mistake they make. In this way, this person may suddenly cease to be the person he values ​​most for him.

People may not be able to distinguish between what is and what it is from time to time. For example, they are only interested in a subject that does not interest them in order to be appreciated or accepted by the people around them, and when they do not see the value they want in the future or when they realize this contradictory situation, they reinforce their sense of worthlessness even more.

When individuals set goals that are very difficult or impossible to achieve and cannot achieve these goals, they feel worthless. In such cases, they try to be superior and rearrange all their behaviors in order to eliminate their sense of worthlessness. For example, someone who wants to gain the respect of the people around him pays attention to his behavior in all areas of his life and tries to act as he planned. He mostly acts like an actor, but most of the time he doesn’t realize his role and this situation starts to restrict all his behavior in his whole life.

If people approach life’s problems and problems with a realistic understanding, they will not experience feelings of worthlessness. In life there is as much failure as success; When he accepts that there is bad as well as good, he does not get this feeling of worthlessness. The important thing is to be able to face ourselves. When we see and accept our faulty or deficient side, this side of us is more likely to disappear. In the same way, when we accept that no one has any superiority or lack, or worth or worthlessness, we neither give too much meaning to others and exalt them in our eyes, nor do we degrade and devalue ourselves.

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