Fear of selfishness – inability to say no

“No one will love me if I’m selfish”
“My child! give me the toy, it’s a shame, that brother”
“My parents don’t take care of me enough. They’re not happy with me. I have to please them”
“I shouldn’t hurt people”
“My parents need me. I have to meet their needs!”
“They’ll love me if I’m a good boy who obeys”
“Oh woe! woe! woe! woe!” If one of these phrases is swirling in your mind, you will need to sit down and think about selfishness. Selfishness is often negatively charged. That is, what should not be perceived as what should not be done. That’s why you’ll often hear the phrase “loving yourself is selfish”. These sentences will make your mind skid. When you take care of yourself, when you put your own wants before the wants of others, you will feel intense restlessness. You will not be doing what is virtuous. I have good news for you. Not everyone is afraid of selfishness!
You have to change your view of selfishness. Why would it be bad? If you don’t see it negatively when someone loves you, why should it be negative when you love yourself? Why don’t you have needs when someone else can? If you can handle it when it’s broken, why can’t someone else? What’s wrong with someone else whining when you’re also whining when you’re not happy? To be loved… To be approved… To be respected… To be a good person… What do you really need? What need are you meeting without being selfish? Is it worth it if being loved, approved, being a good person depends on your selflessness and someone else will love you because you are unselfish?
If you have an overly empathetic disposition, you cannot be selfish. You should download empathy. People may not be as fragile, unwilling to love, and ready to leave as you think. Constantly investing in yourself will of course damage your relationships, hurt the other person (NEGATIVE SELFITY), but if you are making an investment, you should expect it in return and you can get it with selfishness. Otherwise, you’re always meeting someone else’s needs. So I’m talking about a balanced selfishness. That’s why “The selfishness that does not harm oneself or anyone else brings happiness”.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.