Some people are in a constant state of anxiety when they are with other people. Over time this feeling becomes a part of them. Although the likes or positive words addressed to them in the community provide relief in a short time, their uneasiness continues in the long run. Childhood experiences of individuals are extremely effective in the formation of these feelings. The existence of restrictive, overprotective, rejecting, inconsistent and punishing parental attitudes during childhood draws attention. When the child cannot receive respect and love from his/her parents, the child starts to become lonely over time and may cause him to be afraid of people or to distance himself completely from people in later ages. Even if he sees the love that he did not see in his childhood from the people around him in the future, he may think that he is not worthy of it. When people begin to notice these situations in themselves, they seek to get rid of these feelings of fear and guilt. They feel that they have to love those around them. The reason why they feel this way is due to the fact that the thought of “I have to love them” continues, even though they did not receive love from their parents when they were children. Even when trying to love someone around him, he may be afraid of him, but because of the thought that he will be harmed, he tries to hide this situation from him by developing a kind of defense mechanism. In life, a person may be afraid of someone, but the point here is that he experiences the same feelings towards people he has never met.
Everyone has troubled and problematic periods in their childhood. Children experience negative emotions as well as positive ones. The important thing is to accept the existence of these negative feelings and not to hide it or not to see it as if it never happened. We need to develop our ability to love people and our ability to deal with our problems. Admitting that negative things have not happened in our lives or pretending that we have always been happy and have no fear or anxiety in life does not make us who we are.