Family and the Shy Child

Almost all of us have met “When they enter a new environment or meet a new person, children immediately bow their heads and hide behind their parents” . Then comes a familiar sound “What happened to my son/daughter, why are you ashamed, come on, answer your brother/sister, look what they asked you”. This behavior of the child may become more severe, and may also show sounds or crying behavior that shows that he is disturbed. At such a moment, every act or word that the parents will show will be indifferent to remove the child’s sense of shame. We need to know that shyness is mainly driven by the instinct to be protected and feel safe. The most important bond that children form with their mother from the first years of their lives is the feeling of trust. He sees his mother as a safe haven. For this reason, it is a natural process to be ashamed of another and take shelter in the mother. However, as the age progresses and when it comes to the ages of 5 and 6, the exaggerated shyness and introversion in children affect the child negatively. The family is directly related to this situation. In general, children can adopt a cautious and distant attitude towards new events, situations or people they encounter. It is normal for them to show a tendency to be shy because their social relations have not yet developed, they do not realize that they are a single individual, and most importantly, they try to form their personality. For this reason, it is so important to determine shyness in children correctly. It should not be forgotten that in which environment, how and with whom children communicate and how they respond should be taken into account. While such problems are considered normal at young ages, it should not be forgotten that these problems may turn into different problems such as social phobia, anxiety disorder, and self-confidence problems as the age progresses.

Causes of shyness in children?

Shyness is a natural process that occurs in almost every human being. Studies have shown that shyness differs according to environmental, structural, relational, social, family and upbringing styles. Especially if there is a shy person in the family, the child may adopt a similar model. So what should we not do?We should not make fun of the child. “our shy child has come”such statements cause the child to be more introverted and ashamed. “You’re starting to look like your friend, he’s shy like youWe should not judge other people’s behavior with statements such as ”. “Look at your peers, no one is ashamed like you, only you are doing this”We should stay away from accusatory and judgmental discourses by using expressions. “Your aunts are here, say hi, can you talk? Why are you silent”We should not force ourselves to do certain things in an oppressive attitude. “How many times have I told you when someone asks a question, answer me, don’t get behind me” Getting angry, scolding causes the child to feel more ashamed. If we do not want to hear these and similar statements, we should not approach our children with these statements. However, the shyness seen in children paves the way for the formation of permanent and different problems due to the developmental characteristics. Instead of these expressions what can i doWe need to eliminate the problem by asking ourselves the question.

We can support him/her in self-confidence by instilling a sense of self-confidence and providing an opportunity to overcome the situations experienced. Support entry into new environments. Don’t expect many things to change at once with a magic touch. Remember that every child has different personality traits and temperaments. Help the child appreciate their achievements and realize their potential. Don’t force him for anything. Encourage it Sometimes, despite all your efforts and efforts, you may find that shyness increases drastically. Then, the expert support you will receive without losing time will be effective in preventing the problems caused by shyness.

It should not be forgotten that shyness can be seen at any age and gender. One of the most frequently asked questions is “How can I overcome shyness?”. It is not possible for shyness to disappear in a day. Overcoming it gradually with the support of experts will also eliminate the problems that may arise.

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