Does it bother you more if your partner cheats on you by feeling emotionally close to another person or by having sex with someone else?
of womenthe vast majority against their partners emotional jealousywhile feeling, men sexual jealousythey hear.
Jealousy is a negative emotional state experienced as a result of loss of relationship due to the presence of a rival or a threat to loss of relationship. (Mathes and Severa, 1981) Darwin, on the other hand, saw jealousy as an instinct to protect the relationship and said that it was necessary for them to continue their lineage by passing on their genes to their children.
This text, evolutionary psychology perspective provides answers to these questions. NOTE: In psychology, different answers have been given to the answer to this question from different perspectives. These answers are only according to the theory of evolution.
Choosing a mate: The characteristics that men and women look for
Evolutionarily, mate selection is not random; on the contrary, this choice is made according to certain factors. For both sexes, kindness and mutual love are the most important features in choosing a partner. However, the characteristics that women and men look for in choosing a mate vary:
Men choose a mate physical attractivenessputs it forward.
Women, on the other hand, are both personal characteristics(ambitious, extroverted, intelligent, well-educated) social characteristics(power, success, social status).
So, what is the reason for this difference?
Parent Investment: Parents make some investments in their children so that their lineage can continue. Since women’s investment is high, he is looking for a wife who will help him start a family, support him economically (the belief that ambitious and extroverted people are more successful) and will not abandon him by being devoted to him in order to raise his child in the best way possible. Therefore, it is more selective than men. Men, on the other hand, prefer them in choosing a mate because they see the fertility of physically attractive and young women as higher and they believe that they can continue their lineage by carrying their genes.
Women: In order to raise her child in the best way, she is looking for a wife who will help her start a family, support her economically, and will not abandon her by showing devotion to her. Therefore, it is more selective than men.
Males: Prefers physically attractive and young females with high fertility and who can carry on their lineage by carrying their genes.
So what is jealousy and why does it occur?
Jealousy: Why does it occur?
Why do men and women envy different things?
According to evolutionary theory, men are more jealous of their partner’s sexual infidelity because there is doubt about paternity and the loss of a fertile partner to one of their “competitors.” Paternity doubts arise as to whether he is the real father of his children. As a result of sexual infidelity, there is a possibility that parental investments (material and moral investments) may be made in someone else’s child. This is jealousy; He is born because he prevents his own lineage from continuing by transferring his resources to one of his own descendants. It is therefore very important for them to be a “single sexual partner”.
Women, on the other hand, become more jealous when their partner feels emotionally close to another person. This is because the resources and commitment that men provide are at stake. Women expect commitment from him after they are very selective about their choice of spouse and find a partner who will provide both material and spiritual resources to him / her / child. However, when a man cheats on another woman by feeling emotionally intimidating, all these resources are lost.
What we learn socially is also effective in the development of jealousy. Women associate sexuality with emotional intimacy, love, and affection, while men associate it with success, excitement, and physical relaxation. Therefore, differences in beliefs about sexuality also affect jealousy.
According to the belief of men, women can fall in love with others without having a sexual relationship. If there is sexuality, women are also emotionally close to someone else. That is, they feel that women are cheating on them both emotionally and sexually. This means the end of the relationship.
According to the belief of women, men can have sexual intercourse without falling in love with another person. But emotional intimacy with another person is a real threat to their relationship.