I find the word naughty meaningless. I wish this word was not used for children. I think it would be better not to use it, especially for a living creature. Every living thing has potential. I think the word naughty undermines that potential.
I know the word naughty isn’t really meant because kids are useless. But imagine that the person who is older than you and whose word you trust the most in life says “this is naughty” to your face and in front of other people. Imagine how much this could hurt your self-confidence. When people do something, they are happier, healthier and more productive. A large part of our self-confidence comes from our perception of how our environment defines us. That’s why if people you trust say you’re naughty, you won’t be able to either. Because after that time it doesn’t matter. Constantly criticizing and judging the missing or disliked aspects of children does not completely change these situations. If there are aspects that you don’t like, you have to deal with it in another way.
The second meaning of the word naughty in the dictionary, which is related to children, is “disobedient, not behaving, insisting on doing the forbidden things, mischievous (child), the opposite of good manners”. The first meaning is useless. This word, which is not a problem when used for inanimate objects, does not suit a living being. When we examine the second meaning, I think that it is important when, how and what the word is said in the “disobedient” part. As parents, we want our word to be heard unconditionally and without question. But if what we are saying will disturb the situation while watching a cartoon or playing with the child’s friends, it is not the child’s first choice to listen to what you say. There is a time issue here. The way you say it is also important, especially as children get older, saying it implicitly can have the opposite effect. In short, what we say, the way we say it, and what we say should be age-appropriate and respectful to an individual. On the contrary, I think that the whole result of the discourses should not be imposed on the child.
The second part is the one who doesn’t sit still… Being nice can mean that the child sits almost all the time. We love individuals who do not interfere with anything sitting. We don’t care that much about the child’s exploration of the world and learning about his environment. We look up to people with high self-confidence, who can express themselves well, who are academically successful and entrepreneurial, and we envy them. But it is hard to put up with the effort and time we have to put into our child to be like that. We want our child to learn, work and try, but we also want him to do as we want. Let it not get dirty, disperse, mix, run, drop and we can count many more. If the child does not deliberately and willingly break it up, that is, if it is not a behavioral problem, then it is unnecessary to prevent it. Of course, taking into account the harmony of time and space. But when we try to block it almost everywhere, it can lead to behavioral problems.
The third and your favorite part is doing things that are banned… We love banning as a nation. I don’t know if it’s because we grew up with prohibitions, but we like to set the rules. We determine everything in the child’s life, such as the food he will eat, the toy he will play with, how he will play the toy, how he will eat the food, where he can mix or not, how he should eat. Will I ever interfere in my child’s life? The question may come to your mind. Of course, you will say something to your child, but we do this a lot. We may not be able to tell you how to play with his toy or what to paint on paper. If he won’t hurt himself physically, he can do whatever he wants if the environment is suitable. Because you can tell it can fall, what the thought will be, what will happen when something breaks. But his experience is very different. It may fall. After the fall, it should not be said that I said so. Because it doesn’t solve the problem. Then you should talk about why it crashed so that you can solve the problem.
A child’s discovery is not “naughty”. The child will touch, smell, fall, make mistakes so that he can see that it can be done. You have to learn it yourself so that it will be permanent. The concept we call “naughty” is in human nature. Molding children is an obstacle to development. We must sacrifice our comfort and pursue our child. If we know that he will fall, we should not catch him. If it falls, we have to catch it. The child should know that you will catch it if it falls, not that you are holding it. If you keep it all the time, he will not be able to learn easily as he should. It drops quickly when you let go. Because you always have.
Growing up, there should be limits, prohibitions are things that children love to do. Banning is tempting. The child should shuffle the drawer, but we must take precautions for the drawer of knives, the drawer of medicines or take them out of reach. But if we put a ban on all drawers. The medicine drawer doesn’t make any sense. We must support their curiosity so that we can raise healthy, sociable children who know themselves and their limits.