Caring and admiration are tendencies that are never seen in some children, while in others they have obvious effects. From a pedagogical point of view, how should this situation be evaluated? In other words, do such tendencies and wishes of the child indicate a personality problem?
First of all, it should be known that features such as wannabe and envy are part of child psychology and are very important in terms of character formation, shaping behavior and moral development. Enthusiasm and admiration are a kind of imitation, and having this skill is valuable for normal psychosocial development. The important thing is for whom and what characteristics the child should emulate. In other words, children can envy good things as well as bad or worthless things. As children develop their imitation skills, they first begin to imitate those around them (mother, father, etc.) and admire them. We often witness words or thoughts such as ‘When I grow up I will be strong like my father’, ‘I will be beautiful like my mother’ in childhood. Later, as the child explores his environment and his priorities change, the people and characteristics they admire change. The degree of admiration and affection is important. In other words, if the child imitates the person he admires, or if this admiration prevents the child from fulfilling his responsibilities, we can talk about admiration at the level of illness. Another name for this is fanaticism. As stated in the question, some children are less affected, while others are more affected. There are also some decisive factors here. The personality structure of the child, the guidance of the family and the environment, the intelligence level of the child, judgment skills, etc. as. Particularly in children with dependent personality traits, wannabe and admiration can reach the level of illness. At the same time, children who cannot identify with their parents may be excessively fascinated with other figures. Children with weak judgment and decision-making skills may choose to imitate a famous and admired person around them by avoiding the easy task. Children with strong imaginations or poor ability to assess reality are at risk. The incidence of many psychiatric diseases is increasing in children whose caring and admiration are at the level of illness.
How can it be interpreted that it is seen at an early age or even in the pre-adolescent period? Technological developments, internet etc. Is it possible to talk about the effect?
I think that children’s exposure to technology does not lead to the early development of wannabe and admiration, but to the envy and admiration of others. Because the development of a child’s imitation skill is under the direct influence of external stimuli. That is, the more often he sees and hears what he imitates, the more he imitates or envies. If children spend time with TV or other objects instead of their parents, they will imitate and admire what they see there. Unfortunately, many families cannot protect their children from the negative effects of media and internet. For this reason, children are more influenced by popular culture. The lives, behaviors and discourses of the imaginary and real representatives of this culture in our country and in the world can create negative examples in the healthy development of children. At the same time, it is a fact that parents are under the influence of technology and do not take care of their children enough or take the wrong approach.
What should the family’s attitude be in such situations? How should they convey their unwelcome wishes to their children?
Families should take care of their children frequently and closely. They should present good examples to their children and keep them away from bad and wrong examples. For this reason, they should control the content of what they watch and follow, limit their time according to their age and prevent negative situations. They should highlight the positive aspects of the people they admire and tell their children about the negative aspects. They should not meet the child’s excessive demands because this can create dissatisfaction in children. Demonstrating the real needs of children and setting goals for them in life are the most important duties of parents. If children have admiration and pretense to the extent of illness and families cannot cope with it, they should consult a specialist.