Emotional Abuse

Stop and think for a minute. “The other person constantly criticizes you, puts excessive pressure on you, tries to manipulate you, humiliates you, mocks you, constantly controls you, constantly embarrasses you, blames you for their own mistakes, constantly threatens to leave you, shows conditional love, makes decisions for you, and scares you.” . What would you feel? Or, what kind of feeling do you have when a mother or father “doesn’t show love for their child, responds with anger to every behavior they do, constantly insults them and compares them with others”? Is it going to happen? Even the thought of it might be frightening. Especially when we hear about an incident of sexual or physical abuse, we bring to our eyes a woman or child who has been subjected to violence, rape or forced into prostitution. At the same time, we can react quickly and respond to this event with emotions such as anger, tension and sadness.

So, do the limits we set for sexual and physical abuse include emotional abuse? Although we know that emotional abuse is a crime by law, it is more difficult to prove when it is committed differently in other types of abuse. Maybe many of us have been exposed to emotional abuse at some point in our lives and may not even know that this is abuse. Recognizing emotional abuse is very important. Every unpleasant incident that can be experienced with a person, an argument with your lover or spouse, or the reaction of the other party when you hurt someone does not mean that you have been subjected to emotional abuse. At the same time, the cultural structure of the society we live in also affects whether we are subjected to emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can be seen together with sexual and physical abuse, or it can be experienced without harming anyone.

What or what does the abuser do in emotional abuse? First of all, he tends to constantly check where you are and what he is doing. So much so that you may experience anxiety even when you go to the market. He often calls or texts to find out where, when, and with whom you are. That’s why you have to return their call instantly. Who you are in your phone book, who you text and who you call should be under constant control.

He wants to know the password of your social media accounts, if you do not want to give it, he uses the phrases “what are you hiding from me, you are doing different things for sure”. He constantly tends to humiliate you in front of others and constantly exposes your weaknesses. When you react to name-calling, teasing, and behavior, he answers as “you don’t understand the joke”. He puts the responsibility for his own emotional problems on you. If he is unhappy or anxious, you are the cause. His own ideas are always in the foreground and he wants you to think like him. He constantly asks you to be perfect, not to make mistakes, to be nice and kind. It can do things on your behalf without your knowledge. It is in a threatening structure in every discussion. These and similar behaviors are the most obvious aspects of emotional abuse. When we examine the psychological ethics of emotional abuse; Emotional abuse encountered in childhood increases the lifetime risk of developing depressive disorder 2.7 times for women, while this rate increases 2.5 times for men. Studies have shown that those who experience emotional abuse during childhood have a higher risk of experiencing depression throughout their lives. In another study, the rate of introversion, social relations problems, self-confidence problems, suicidal tendencies and different mental problems is also very high in those who experience emotional abuse. At the same time, those who were exposed to emotional abuse during childhood are more likely to stay away from their families, develop antisocial behaviors, be nervous and angry, feel worthless, and be aggressive and maladaptive. In addition, those who have been exposed to emotional abuse since childhood do not have any mental problems, and they are more likely to face problems such as learning difficulties, attention problems, and failure in school. It should be noted that no form of abuse is acceptable.

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