Emotion Box



“Just as Pandora’s box was swarming with evil, my box was swarming with the emotions I had thrown inside. I was extremely afraid that my feelings, which I had thrown into the box before, would find an opportunity and come to light. Just as Pandora’s box is opened and destroys the world; If my box was opened, it would destroy my world. I couldn’t even imagine that those feelings I had thrown inside were wandering around. That would definitely be the end of me. All my relationships with people, good or bad, would be turned upside down, no one would want or love me again. Of course I couldn’t afford it. And my last resort was to chain the box and that’s what I did. I am very peaceful now. Do not consider me dishonest in my relationships that I have established just because I am saying these things! I wish I could express my feelings freely. For example, not to hide my sadness with a smile, not to hide my anger inside… However, when I was little, I was well advised not to reveal my feelings publicly. How Does? I can give small examples: Whenever I was sad, it was said, “You don’t cry at everything, wipe your tears”. Whenever I get angry, “Don’t be rude! Speak properly with your elders”. Whenever I said that I was afraid, I was told, “You’re too cowardly,” and ridiculed. Naturally, I’ve been hiding my feelings. Of course, this process was not easy for me either. I received childish wounds, I was ignored or even ignored. Well, after all, I didn’t have adult problems. In short, I learned in my childhood not to share my feelings. And I did not share them publicly and kept silent. No one said why did you keep quiet anyway. If you don’t cause trouble, don’t cry, don’t get angry, if you don’t say you’re sorry, your family will breathe a sigh of relief. Everything is fine for them. I also did not want to be a good boy and disturb the peace of my family. And now I realize that; I am a very sweet person who puts a chain on his mouth so that no one will be disturbed.”

If there are similar experiences in your life, if your feelings have been ignored, found harmful, condemned, briefly, if you have never felt heard or understood and if you have hidden them from the outside world, you may have a suppression scheme of emotions blended with emotional deprivation.

What is an emotion suppression scheme? It is the state of not showing emotions, from suppressing anger that is difficult to suppress to hiding happiness that is difficult to hide. Well, if you ask what is the most extreme point of this, it is to be blind, deaf to one’s own emotions and living in a vacuum. (living in a detached sheltered mode).

When one surrenders to the schema of suppression, the person is always straight and calm. (he is neither happy nor does he show his sadness). If he has a suppression schema and withdraws himself from the environment in order not to show his emotions, this is called schema avoidance. Or, if the person feels the need to constantly talk about their feelings, we call it overcompensation of the schema. When we think in the long term, the suppression of emotions schema both negatively affects our internal dynamics and prevents us from establishing a satisfactory relationship with our environment.

So, how can we deal with this schema inside us? We can start by feeling, understanding, and accepting our emotions ourselves first, and sharing them in an appropriate amount in an acceptable way.

If your suppression schema prevents you from even confronting yourself and you think you have mental problems as a result of it, you can get help from a schema therapist.

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