Embrace Your Anger, Your Joy, and Your Violence


Anger is an emotion that we experience unexpectedly and brings with it physiological consequences. Anger is an emotion that is considered natural and, to a certain extent, normal. Anger is an emotion, not a behavior, a force that protects us so that we can survive. Anger is an emotion that is too important to be postponed, but also to be experienced. Expression of anger should be directed towards a healthy solution; It should not turn into aggression. Healthy unexpressed anger; It is a EMOTION that can have expensive consequences…

Unresolved anger is hidden at the root of personal and social problems. Anger arises as a result of both internal and external factors. If anger gets out of control and becomes destructive, causing problems with personal relationships and overall quality of life, then it’s time to take action.

Experiencing anger is not abnormal. What is abnormal is the state of anger, which is suppressed by not being expressed in a healthy way and causes violence. Anger is perfectly healthy and natural when properly expressed.

When anger is suppressed, it can appear in disguise and take other emotions with it. It manifests itself with passive-aggressive behavior when suppressed. Anger is an emotion experienced in varying intensities, from a mild reaction to rage.

Some of the other emotions that anger includes; anger, anxiety, anger, hatred, enmity, hatred, desire to take revenge, desire to constantly criticize is humiliation.

Every person’s anger is different. In addition, an individual may sometimes be angry at the same issue, but sometimes not.

WHEN THE PERSON IS ANGRY; The relax-think-act method should be applied, and the irritating environment should be abandoned until it calms down. The person should ask himself “what and why he is angry”, he should also try to realize what lies behind his anger, and think of non-aggressive solutions. Moreover The person should be able to analyze his anger.Namely;

  • What is anger to me? Who-what makes me angry more? What are my limits? How do I express my anger? How healthy is my way of expressing my anger? What is keeping me from expressing my anger in a controlled and healthy way? What do I feel in a moment of intense anger? How can I express my anger more effectively? What lessons does my anger teach me? What are the negative consequences of my anger? How can I express my anger in a healthy way?


There are many factors in our lives that make us angry. It’s like we’re surrounded by mines of anger! We have blazing rages. Maybe we are made to think as if we are living just to be happy!

We have negative thoughts and emotions that we avoid living. Every problem we run away from; It also means that we miss out on experiences that would allow us to mature and grow stronger.

We try to stay away from anger as if it were a bad emotion. If not, we try with all our might to suppress our anger. What escapes our attention is that anger, to a certain extent, is healthy and has protective and healing power.

Of course, no one can live without getting angry, without experiencing the feeling of anger. This is not possible either. It is possible to use anger correctly. Those who think they can live without anger will only be disappointed. Every event that we do not react to or cannot respond to can create an experience of anger. The important thing is to interpret the event correctly.

Especially when we feel that we are not understood, when we have conflicts in interpersonal relationships, when we are bored, when we think that we have been wronged, when we cannot express ourselves, when our wishes and needs are not met or when we think that they will not be met, when we feel loneliness/anxiety/shame, when we experience frustration, when we think that we are disrespected/injustice/harassed/attacked, we love When we lose someone, encounter an unloved person, experience academic failure, experience physical or verbal abuse, face social violence, experience threats and disappointment, and focus too much on should/s, we become ANGRY.


Suppressed anger, learned anger, excited anger, impulsive anger, situational anger, constant anger


How the events that cause people to get angry differ; Anger reactions to these events also differ. How to experience anger is a person’s own choice.

Those who live their anger more inward; They may find it difficult to express their anger. These people usually react more introverted to their anger by sulking, sulking and sulking.

Those who experience their anger more outwardly; they experience their anger feelings uncontrollably and aggressively. In general, they are excluded from the social group they are in because of their angry state.

Those who experience their anger more aggressively;He shows his reaction by hitting and shouting, getting angry, breaking the things around him or punching the walls, that is, by behaving aggressively.

Those who live their anger more controlled;They can express their anger verbally.

RESULTS OF ANGRY Body Reactions in Anger

Anger activates our emotions. Anger, like other emotions, is felt together with physiological and biological changes. If the person knows to listen to his body; she will hear her body whispering that she is angry with her. Anger has some physical manifestations. Physiological responses to anger;increased blood sugar, increased pulse and blood pressure, frequent and difficult breathing, headache, back-neck-muscle pain, increased adrenaline level, fatigue, psychosomatic disorders. Mental reactions of anger;concentration disorder, poor performance, forgetfulness, sleep and appetite disorders, inattention and lack of motivation. Emotional reactions to anger;, depression, anxiety disorders, tension. Behavioral reactions to anger; scigarette-alcohol-drug addiction, eating disorders, aggression, violence, bullying, behavioral disorders, restlessness, haste.

We try to forget the event that caused anger, we need to suppress the event, we experience tension, we can cry by showing passive-aggressive or excessive reactions, sometimes we try to change the target, sometimes we prefer to face it directly, or we feel cheated, afraid, afraid of losing, blame or We may feel guilty, resentful, feel neglected, or have crying spells.


As a physiological application; nEphesus exercises, doing sports, muscle relaxation exercises

As mental practice ; To remove the angering thoughts from the mind, to benefit from the power of positive thinking, to benefit from the power of social support by sharing the positive or negative emotions felt with the people around
As a behavioral application; zusing time efficiently, benefiting from effective communication power, empathy, ability to express emotions

Headache, blood pressure problem, stomach ailments, muscle aches, respiratory problems, skin and skin problems, increase in existing physical complaints and emotional problems can be seen. In addition, attention and concentration disorders, forgetfulness, irregularities in sleep and appetite habits can be seen, as well as residual and restlessness in cigarette-alcohol use.

When we get angry, we experience differences in our thoughts, behaviors, physiological reactions, emotions, and the way we communicate.



Violence; It is an individual or social problem that causes physical or mental harm to people and continues with the use of force and pressure. Violence is not just physical. It can be evaluated in two categories, verbal and behavioral. Shouting, pouting, humiliating, shouting or hitting is violent. Violence is harassment, intentional use of force, alienation, loneliness, intimidation, abuse, harassment, humiliation, persuasion the hard way. Violence is actually a cry for help. The desire to be noticed is the message that I am here. Violence is alienation from oneself, It is the powerhouse of the weak. Violence is a behavior that hurts both the individual and the society. Violence does not contain a solution, but an insolubility. with violence problem solving and reconciliation cannot be observed at the same time. Violence abuse brings about psychological damage and bodily harm.

Violence continues to exist in all areas of life. It will continue to exist as long as humanity exists.

Violence is not only against health workers! At home, at school, in the classroom, on the bus, in the cafe, in the hospital, on the road, in the store… In short, everywhere!… Each of us expects understanding and a smiling face from our surroundings; We cannot tolerate sullen and sullen or disinterested people. No one can tolerate feeling worthless. Where there is intolerance, anger flares up easily. In such a case, it is very likely that anger will lead to aggressive behavior or violence. It should not be forgotten that devaluing approaches will return as violence.

First of all, it is necessary to distinguish between anger, violence and aggression. Angerwhile a feeling violence It is a form of behavior. When anger is used positively, it is the emotion that makes people strong and keeps them alive. Violence is the most negative expression of anger. From anger to violence thoughts and feelings determine the reactions to the situation that causes anger. In the process from anger to violence, grudge, fear, anxiety, hatred, enmity etc. accompanied by emotions. Violence is one of the ways of expressing anger and violence outwardly.

Among the reasons for violence;lack of communication, loss of anger control, addictions, personality disorders, dependent personality disorder, psychological problems, mercilessness, personal differences, genetic and cultural differences, education level


  • One of the reasons for violence is that the person does not know how to manage anger and how to relax. In addition, if the person had a childhood by being exposed to violence, that is, he grew up seeing someone who commits violence, he puts violence into action when they have difficulty, starts to see it as a problem solving tool, and normalizes it.

  • People with low self-confidence experience feelings of inadequacy at many points and resort to violence by not being able to control their impulses. These people choose the weaker ones and use force to feel stronger. People who see themselves as inadequate constantly criticize those around them in order to feel powerful, see them as incomplete, cannot express themselves other than violence, and see themselves as unsuccessful in many areas.

  • There are studies that show that the front part of the brain does not work well in people who are prone to violence. The front part of the brain, which makes us who we are; It is a part of the brain that hosts functions such as higher-order thinking that provides impulse control and allows us to plan for the future.

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