Most parents start to dream about how they will raise their child from the first moment they learn they are going to have a child. What we usually hear are sentences such as “I will not expose my child to tools such as phones, tablets, TVs, computers, etc., I will play games with my child every day, we will spend our time productively, we will do activities together”. However, dreams and real life may not always match. What would you do if your child asked you to play with him or do a different activity at the end of a day when you have a heavy workload, maybe you go to many meetings, you feel very tired, you have work to do at home, or you just want to lie down and rest when you go home? Most parents respond like I just got home from work, I need to cook, it was a very tiring day, and I want to rest a bit, and consciously or unconsciously direct their children to a computer, tablet or phone.
That is, he uses the screen as a secret consolation technique at the point where his child cannot meet his expectations from him.
At this stage, we come across a concept that has just entered the literature. “Electronic pacifier giving behavior.” Studies have shown that mothers usually give pacifiers to their babies when they want to comfort them. Babies’ different requests such as toys, breast milk, and sleep are met with a pacifier, and the baby is expected to find solace. In children whose age is past the age of pacifier sucking, when the child does not want or cannot parent what the child wants; The concept of “electronic pacifier giving behavior” can be used to allow the child’s behavior that is prohibited in his daily life (playing the phone, turning on the computer, watching television, etc.) to distract or console him.
This behavior exhibited is a kind of escape. The child, who is forbidden to watch TV or play on the phone in normal moments, gets what he wants by creating a situation that the parent cannot provide for him. Electronic items or materials that are prohibited in his daily life are allocated to the child, who is a little older, such as a pacifier given to him to shut up every time he cries, and he is expected to keep quiet and linger. The child, who has obtained the electronic pacifier once, may constantly ask his parents for things that they cannot do. For example, he asks the mother, who is tired every day, to play with him or asks the father to take him out. But they know that their parents will not be able to fulfill these wishes in that time period. Parents who can’t fulfill the wishes always release the situations they have forbidden in daily life by saying “one time”. In this way, children get what they want.