Ejaculation and Orgasm Disorders in Women

The truth is that every healthy woman is capable of more than one ejaculation. The sad thing is that many women do not fully ejaculate throughout their lives. According to the researches, 29% of women stated that they never ejaculate, and 70% of them stated that they never reach ejaculation during sexual intercourse. Only 20% of women stated that they experienced vaginal discharge. There are many factors in the emergence of these statistics, but the biggest reason is inaccuracies and prejudices in the understanding of female sexuality. For this reason, the woman’s reaching orgasm is related to both physical and mental orientation.

Types of Ejaculation Disorder in Women

  • Random Ejaculation

It is also called occasional ejaculation and occasional inability to ejaculate. It is the state of not having an orgasm from time to time.

  • Inability to Ejaculate in Penis-Vagina Coexistence

It is the inability to ejaculate with sexual intercourse but ejaculation with masturbation.

  • Premature Ejaculation

It is very rare. It is the equivalent of premature ejaculation in men.

  • No Ejaculation (Anorgasmia)

Recurrent and persistent delay or absence of ejaculation despite adequate sexual arousal.

Causes of Ejaculation Disorders

  • Some diseases and drugs

Some medications, especially antidepressants, antihistamines and antihypertensives, can cause ejaculation problems.

  • Sexual myths and false prejudices

False beliefs about the body, sexual ignorance, and exaggerated expectations about sex can cause ejaculation problems.

  • Spouse rejection

The prevalence of arranged marriages in our country causes spouse rejection, which can lead to ejaculation disorders. Again, if a woman has loved another man, married to the person she married for reasons such as social and family pressure, she may act as if she is betraying the person she loves while giving herself to her husband. In addition, as a result of marriages made without experiencing the traumatic separation process and without mourning this separation, there may be problems of not being able to divorce.

  • Insufficient stimulation

In sexual intercourse, the “6U Rule” must always be followed. These are important factors for ejaculation and orgasm formation;

  • suitable partner,

  • suitable venue,

  • Arousal at appropriate intensity (spiritual and physical),

  • Warn at the appropriate time,

  • It is in the form of making appropriate requests.

  • Relational conflicts and problems

Communication failure in partnerships leads to sexual dysfunctions. When the physiological and emotional disappointment brought about by a bad sex life, the blaming of both partners and the loss of self-confidence, which is the natural result of sexual inadequacy, come together, it is unthinkable for the couple to have a problem. The couple is reluctant to talk to each other about their desires and pleasures.

  • Worry, fear and anxiety (anxiety)

Worries lead to fight-or-flight responses and defensive and defensive behaviors that inhibit sexual arousal. As an example of these; fear of the opposite sex, fear of punishment, fear of catching a disease can be shown. This type of anxiety, fear and anxiety causes the release of the stress hormone called adrenaline, which causes contractions in the pelvic floor muscles and reduces sexual satisfaction, causes deterioration in sexual responses, which leads to ejaculation problems.

  • Sexual dysfunctions in the partner

If the man has an uncontrolled ejaculation or erection problem, then the woman will naturally have the problem of inability to ejaculate. The transfer of anger, especially against their father, to the partner with the displacement defense mechanism, the revival of anger against the spouse in the person of the spouse, may prevent the woman from relaxing and loosening.

  • Being a mother without a woman at an early age

Having a child immediately in the first years of marriage causes the woman not to recognize sexuality and the couple not discovering each other. It is recommended that the woman not have children in the first three years of marriage, so that she can discover her body and sexuality and live her sexuality to the fullest.

  • Fear of making mistakes and losing control

When women are worried about losing control due to the wrong sexual beliefs they have acquired, they cannot relax and ejaculate. Women often express this in a variety of ways, such as incontinence, stool incontinence, or uttering the name of their ex.

  • Entering the audience role

Engaging in a kind of obsessive self-observation during sexual activity means being a spectator rather than a participant in their own lovemaking. In other words, the woman finds herself in thoughts and questions herself about her performance and desires. This condition is often seen in perfectionist women.

  • low sexual self-confidence

If the woman criticizes herself excessively and does not like her body, she may experience ejaculation problems. Feelings of inferiority and worthlessness also fuel this problem. Ejaculation problems; It is directly proportional to a poor self-image, to feel different from others and to not have the ability to communicate about their sexual desires.

  • performance anxiety

Fear of failure is often at the root of sexual problems. Some women often have thoughts such as “if I’m not good enough in bed, my husband will cheat on me, go to someone else, don’t like me”. In this case, the woman can not give herself to sex comfortably and can not relax herself, and this may cause the problem of ejaculation in the woman.

  • sexual traumas

In early childhood, sexual abuse, assault, incest, etc. sexual traumas can cause ejaculation problems. The woman, who cannot share this situation with her relatives at the appropriate time, goes to punish herself with her superego and comes with ejaculation disorders.

  • lack of respect for man

A woman who does not respect the man she is with cannot let herself go and relax. In order for a woman to ejaculate, she must see the man as strong, powerful and respected. Also, women who are angry with men may experience ejaculation problems. Aggression and anger cannot be discharged through sex.

  • Sociocultural reasons

In the society, false beliefs such as “a woman does not show her sexual desire, the woman becomes passive, the man initiates sexual intercourse” can cause ejaculation problems. If the woman has these thoughts, she unconsciously says, “I am guilty, I am a sinner and I must pay for it!” the idea of ​​paying a price develops.

  • Negative family attitudes

The fact that sexuality is taught as a taboo by being brought up in a very strict or conservative environment, the prohibition of relations with the opposite sex, receiving negative messages from the environment about the body, especially during the developmental period, cause the person to feel shame and guilt about his own body and sexual life, thus causing ejaculation problems.

  • Problems in common pair systematics

Unable to resolve marital conflicts, the partner’s thought that he lacks physical attraction, his partner’s weak sexual skills, fear of intimacy, infidelity and other distrustful behaviors, anxieties about creating his own space, differences in expressing his emotions can cause ejaculation problems. Ejaculation and orgasm problems can also be a defense mechanism against a relationship that is perceived as too painful or too costly.

  • Feelings of shame, guilt, and guilt

The feeling of guilt is felt as an inner voice that condemns, blames, and criticizes oneself, and over time, the person devalues ​​himself. Acts such as kissing, making love, rubbing the genitals against each other, rubbing, homosexual experiences, harassment and rape, sexual desires towards family members and other partners in childhood and adolescence can lead to feelings of guilt later. These feelings are a powerful anti-aphrodisiac. In feelings of guilt and sinfulness, the idea that the person should be punished is dominant.

Treatment

Treatment of orgasmic disorders consists of 5 basic stages:

  • Eliminate or neutralize physical causes

  • Eliminate and neutralize the most visible cause of dysfunction

  • Eliminating and neutralizing the deep causes of the disorder

  • Creating successful sexual experiences

  • Providing practice with homework and getting the couple to treat their homework like a game

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